Three Syllables

One last basketball shout-out

2012-03-19T15:42:00.004-05:00

The weather is warm, unseasonably warm. The snow is gone, the ice is gone, and spring bulbs are coming up. Appropriately, high school baseball practice starts today, in exactly 2 hours.

But I have one last note to share on the winter basketball season. Shane's team ended up winning the Regional title before falling to Antigo in the sectional semi-finals on that Thursday after his fateful ankle sprain. Shane played in the game but was just not able to play up to his usual potential. It helped a little to see Antigo lose their next game decisively to the team that would breeze through and capture the State Division 2 championship, Onalaska.

Shane received a unanimous all-conference first team selection and is preparing to start practice with a summer team in just 2 weeks. His coach has put together a highlight video from four of his games this year if you want to see the best of his best. This is the last post I'll do on basketball...until next season. I promise.

Shane is number 14. In the beginning he will be in white, then switch to green, and by then you'll get the hang of which one is him.

It's OK if you can't "do it all"

2012-03-15T22:44:00.004-05:00

I can't tell you how many women have said to me, "I don't know how you do it all." I try to tell them, "I don't do it all, I can't do it all." But, they never seem to believe me (unless they marry my one of my sons and finally see for themselves how much I don't do!).

Somehow, having a big family makes women feel that you are doing something super human and accomplishing a lot more than they are.

Here are some facts from my world:
--The housekeeping suffers the most. Even if kids help clean (and they do) they're not very good or very motivated and with a lot on my plate it doesn't always get checked very well. We end up with too much dust, too many spiders, marks on walls, cluttered storage spaces, and very grimy windows. My consolation is knowing that when I do get to really cleaning it won't look any different than it would have if I'd been keeping up with a weekly regime.

--The laundry gets done, but not that well. I seldom spray stains. I tell the children they have to tend to items that need extra care--spray or soak it and add it to the appropriate load. I don't check pockets, that's the job of the wearer. Just this week I washed a leather wallet, a library card, and $3 that were left in a pocket. I don't iron (well, hardly ever), you can still be a nice person even if you're wrinkled. If it's really bad I toss it back in the dryer with the next load and try to catch it as soon as it's done.

--When we had a dozen or more in the house we lived with survival cooking. Meals were typically one-pot things geared toward ease and nutrition. I wasn't too interested in taste-appeal or variety. A side benefit is that everyone's cooking looks really good next to mine. My daughters-in-law haven't had to try to live up to Mom's home cooking!

--My bedroom is the dump spot. After a week of homeschooling, going to four basketball games, driving to piano lessons and appointments, and then having a group of thirty for some weekend event the house is usually in need of more attention than I can give it. Unfinished projects, school books, and any other clutter gets gathered up and dumped in my room where it sometimes remains for an embarrassingly long time.

--Household projects don't just get put on the back burner, they're not even on the stove. I have 2 sets of curtains that need to be hemmed. I put them up anyway, letting them bunch up on the counter above the window. They've been bunching there for 4 years now and I have no immediate plans to get to them. Add to the list painting projects, wall repair, wall and ceiling replacement and the back burners are all full to overflowing.

--Personal grooming can really take a hit. Just today I got through all of our morning routine, meals, schooling, Gabe-time, prepping for a birthday party, and out the door for our afternoon sports club before I realized that I hadn't combed my hair, or even looked in the mirror. I'd also forgotten to eat (now that rarely happens) and a little later in the afternoon I remembered that I hadn't put on deodorant either. You can guess how that realization came to me...

These things don't all get missed all the time. I pick up the pace in one area and another goes slack, then I pay some attention to the slack-off thing and something else lags. It's kind of a general cycle of moderate neglect.

I could do better. I know I'm a slow-paced kind of person. We all have our own internal clock and speedometer and sometimes I think mine is set just slightly above idle. I have to conscientiously tell myself to hurry and move faster if I want to get things done quickly. I'm just naturally too relaxed. The positive side is that I don't get too stressed about anything. The negative is that I probably am left with more things that I could be stressing about!

I like to think that the main reason for my "behind-ness" in these areas is that I'm investing my quality (and quantity) time in my family--husband, children/spouses, and grandchildren, tending to things/people of more significant value. I want my legacy with them to be relational, not temporal. I hope they relish spending an evening playing games with me more than the memory of my neatly hemmed and pressed curtains.

Some of the demands on my time are lessening as our family changes and fewer children are at home. My bedroom and closet are pretty normal looking right now and there's been a bit more variety and creativity showing up in our family mealtime. But by the time I'm actually "doing it all", I'll have an empty house and lots of quiet time to finally get to it all...at least until the grandchildren come to visit!

A Long, Long-Overdue Gabe Update

2012-03-07T00:56:00.079-06:00

HE

IS

SIX

TODAY!

Here's a look at his year and some significant updates.

Gabe's 6th year started with significant sorrow.

Just one day after his last birthday, Joey and Jamie lost their daughter Kaylee Hope.

A month later we spent a week with Carson and Keira so that Joey and Jamie could get away together. Gabe didn't comprehend the reason behind the visit, he was just excited about being Uncle Gabe for a week--with lots of hugs.

Maybe a few too many hugs for Carson

We've been working on writing, or I should say I've been working on getting Gabe to to some writing. He isn't so keen on it, he's definitely a gross motor skills guy, none of this finger coordination stuff. I thought he might enjoy the chalkboard more than pencil and paper. I was right! Sort of.

Waiting to be discharged after a hospital stay in May.
Gabe woke up with wheezing and a croupy cough that I couldn't get under control. Two doctors diagnosed him with asthma but I was sure they were wrong. I know we always need to question our doctors to make sure we get the best care for our children but that is even more true with children with special needs. I had noticed changes in Gabe's breathing, especially when he was sleeping and was pretty sure that the adenoids that we removed years ago were coming back. I consulted with our pediatrician and headed back to Madison to see a pediatric ENT. What has followed is a scope (adenoids blocking 50%) a sleep study (definite apnea), and medication to reduce inflammation (improved breathing but still apnea). I will have a phone consultation next week and our likely response now will be an adenoidectomy.

Summer time at the lake

We took a family roadtrip/vacation up through Canada, to Washington and the Olympic Peninsula, through Idaho and Montana and home. Making the ride fun is part of the planning with little ones in the van.

Canadian Rockies to me...

...a park and a swimming hole to Gabe

Puget Sound ferry

The US's only temperate rain forest is on the Olympic Peninsula

The northwest Pacific coast offers some of the best rock-throwing opportunities for little throwers. Gabe threw non-stop rocks for almost six hours, sometimes windmill style using both hands alternately. We counted how many he was throwing per minute and came up with a very conservative estimate of 11,000 rocks thrown for the day.

Sandpoint, ID--we stayed with Keith's boss from his first college co-op engineering job. Roger is a kind, generous, and remarkable host. He took everyone up for a ride in his plane (except Gabe who was just happy to get to sit in the plane).

Roger has built this little fantasy-land on his property. The deluxe treehouse in the back is outfitted with electricity and a queen-size bed. Our older children took turns sleeping in the tree. Maybe next time I'll be so adventurous.

We loved his signs

Montana and Glacier National Park

We hadn't planned to spend five days in Havre, MT but hitting a buck just before the weekend changed our plans. It didn't bother Gabe a bit!

Gabe always enjoys our week of family camp in August. We're outside all day, he gets to swim, play ball, and be with other kids all week.
Gabe with his cousin Lauren (4)

Not so sure she wants to share the ball

With the end of summer came an overnight trip for Gabe, Lisa, and me to take Troy to college.

We got him moved in and then drove up to LaCrosse to spend the night before the first game of Chet's MTU football season. We made the drive part of the enjoyment of the trip taking the river road and looking for birds, racing a train (parallel to it, under 45 mph), learning about locks and dams, and stopping when we saw a big park.

This one even had a "real" slide--over 5' high made of metal!

LaCrosse has a fantastic Chilren's Museum. We have a family pass to our local CM that let's us into any participating CM in the country. Gabe loved the morning we spent here.

Meeting Clifford was a lifetime highlight for Gabe. When we heard the announcement over the loudspeaker that Clifford was making an appearance on the first floor I couldn't run fast enough to keep up with Gabe down the stairs. There was a large group of children circled around the Big Red Dog but they were all afraid to approach him. Gabe was not only not afraid to approach him, he wasn't afraid to barge through the middle of the pack, yell "Hi Clifford!" and give him a big hug!

It absolutely made Gabe's day and opened the door for the rest of the kids to approach Clifford.

Probably THE biggest change in Gabe's (and my) life--he started school. This was a difficult decision for me to make. I have a system, guided by conviction and habit. I start teaching my children when they're born and they stay home and learn with me until they're at least 14, then we re-evaluate and go on. So, why was I even considering something different? Because Gabe is different, and I wanted to make sure I was making the decision that was best for him. So, we tried it. Just two days a week with the option to pull him at any time. For a few months I kept things going just because I was benefiting from have two days to teach and do home things without Gabe here. But that's not a good reason to send him to school. I was VERY happy with the people who were caring for him, I loved his teacher, his aides, and his bus driver. Even if he wasn't learning I was comfortable knowing he was safe and well cared for. But, in the last months I've seen the benefits to him. He enjoys the environment and does well in the small group settings. He's definitely improving in many learning areas with the people at school supporting the work we do at home. And it's really nice to not be doing all of it on my own. Gabe needs a lot more interaction and one-on-one to thrive academically and that takes time. He also gets bored with just me, so he learns better when there are more people taking turns with the teaching.

Here's a blurry first day picture

Gabe's 4-K school picture. He has a composite of 29 kids from the 2 classes at his school. He can name about half of the kids on his own and the other half with me providing the first letter of their name.

Gabe's greatest thrill was getting to ride the bus! It took about a month to get all of the paperwork in and sorted to get him on the bus (wouldn't you think that could have been handled during the 10 weeks of summer?--I still have public institution complaints). During those weeks he would beg to get on a bus after school. He cried inconsolably the first day that he was denied that privilege.

With fall comes football. This would be our last of seven years driving up to watch the Huskies.

One of the best things about these games have been the times for family camaraderie. After one particularly warm-weather game we found a great spot on Lake Superior for a picnic.

Grandma trying to get a little bit of the sand off, an exercise in futility.

Gabe not only loves hugging his nieces and nephews, but he rather enjoys getting in trouble with them! Gabe loved having Karissa (and Ellen) with us for the weeks while the guys were in India. There was lots of time for trouble!

Crawling into Karissa's crib when she's supposed to be napping!

Karissa's not the only one who got woken up. Carson and Keira got an early Gabe wake-up call. A baby video kept the cranky babies entertained while the moms scrambled to prepare for a long day.

A neighborhood walk with Lisa, Ellen, and Karissa

Two more nieces! Gabe could not love the babies any more than he does. He just delights in them.

Gabe entered into the Christmas celebrations this year. He hung all of his own ornaments and delighted in pointing them all out to Daddy.

He also had a part in the Children's Christmas pageant at church. He played the part of a sheep and did a great job learning his part, sitting where he was supposed to sit, crawling where he was supposed to crawl, and singing the group songs at the end. He did add a few adlib parts to liven things up--sheep ARE supposed to say "baa" right? Gabe didn't understand why that wasn't a significant part of his role, so he added it. Also, if people bring gifts to the baby, and the baby doesn't open them, shouldn't someone else to it for him? Gabe thought he should be that someone.

Finally, Gabe had his three year check up with the cardiologist for a full exam including EKG and echo. Everything from his repair three years ago was holding fast and working just how it should. I was hoping we'd be done and that all things heart related. However, there's just one little thing... It seems like there's always one more thing. Gabe has one slightly leaky valve. It may be nothing, it may need some attention. I'm not worried about it, though. She said we would look at again in ten years. I don't worry about things that are ten days away much less ten years!

Thank you Gabe, for another eventful and wonderful year. You are my love!!

Basketball: Success and Trial

2012-03-06T07:52:00.020-06:00

Shane is the fourth son that we've watched go through a high school basketball career (and he's still in the middle of his). We've enjoyed the experience for all four. This is a basketball town, big enough to draw a fair-sized fan base, small enough to not offer competing entertainment venues, and cold enough to make everyone want to be inside somewhere on the cold, dark, winter evenings.

We moved here in 1989, just in time to watch Keith's youngest brother, Keenan, play his first varsity season. We followed the Hodags faithfully during his three-year career. For the next ten years our children were growing, playing basketball on a Little Tyke's hoop in the basement, going to open gym with their dad, uncles, and cousins on Saturdays, watching Friday night home high school games, and playing on the recreational "Little Hodag" teams.

Shane, Troy, Seth, and Brett

Joey passed up the public high school on his fast track to life, but Keith took his place on the Hodag Varsity roster in 2001-02 and we've had someone playing for the team ever since. Keith, Chet, and Troy played because they enjoyed the game, the teammates, the coaches, the competition, and just being a part of Hodag basketball. They were natural athletes and contributed to the game, but not one of them hardly touched a ball after March madness. They were on to baseball.

Shane's participation in the sport is not the same. He doesn't just love to play "Hodag basketball". He loves to play basketball. On a tennis court,
in the dark, it doesn't matter when or where. He just loves to play.

So, this has been a very enjoyable high school season for Shane. The boys on the team have played well together and have improved both individually and as a team. They ended up placing 2nd in their conference with a narrow miss at tying for first. Last week they started the tournament play that takes the teams through Regionals, Sectionals, and on to the State tournament. They won both Regional games last week to take the Regional Championship and move on to Sectionals. A Hodag team hasn't made it to this level since Keith's senior year in 2004.

Everything for this team was finally coming together and they now have very high hopes for their game on Thursday against the team that led their division. I know Shane's brain has thought through the season and the upcoming game. From the tip-off

to the outside game

to the inside game

to the inevitable double teaming

to the defense

to the dunk.

Oh the dunk. And here's where the trial comes in. At last night's practice the team worked on all of the typical things they do when they prepare for a game. The practice went well. They were finished, and wrapping things up for the day. The team ritual is to end the practice on a dunk. There are only a few players who are able to finish it for them and Shane, just under 6'6", is one of them. He ended it. He grabbed the rim and hung on while scanning for the ball, he swung back and saw it, swung forward and lost it. He heard someone tell him to stop holding on and get down, and he did, and landed on the ball.

Shane spent the evening going back and forth between elevating his foot and plunging it in a large canner filled with ice water. He left the house this morning on one shoe and a pair of crutches, his basketball shoes sitting on the living room floor.

He'll put them on again on Thursday, and it's probable that he'll be on the court doing all he can to help his team. He's seen senior captain Nate give it his all under similar circumstances, and Kyle play all-out after being sick all night and he'll follow suit. He also has the words of his older brother who, at 15 suffered a season-ending injury after making the varsity baseball team, to help keep things in perspective--"This is the best place that I could be right now, because if God wanted me anywhere else, that's where I'd be."

I have no doubt that Shane will give it all he has, but that he'll also handle any adversity with dignity. In the Sectional final last Saturday, with 2 minutes to go in the game and the team barely holding onto a lead, Shane fouled out on an unquestionably erroneous call. He calmly headed to bench, sat down, and cheered on his team. I think he received as many compliments (from both teams' fans) on his attitude as he did on the game.

The games will end, but the lessons and the attitudes carry on through life. I'm confident that Shane, trusting in God, will continue with a positive attitude. I'm just hoping, and will be cheering, that the game goes on another day.

Half Court Kid

2012-03-04T22:35:00.007-06:00

(The photos in this post were all taken from the website www.bobmphotos.com, the site of our good friend and favorite hometown photographer, Bob Mainhart. Thanks Bob for all of your great pictures! And no, I'm not stealing these. We pay Bob for a photo CD at the end of the season.)

Last Thursday evening, in a very last minute decision, Shane and Bryce decided to go to the watch our high school girls' basketball team play their final season game. With just 2.6 seconds left in the second quarter Bryce remembered that he had wanted to buy tickets to win a chance to shoot a half-court shot at halftime. He sprinted to the ticket seller and bought his 6-for-$5 tickets.

Three numbers were called, and the third was one of his. First the three ticket holders lined up and shot a free throw for a chance to win a t-shirt. Bryce made it and won a shirt.

Next, they lined up at mid-court for the 'big money shot'. Since Bryce's ticket was the third one picked he was the last one to shoot. The first two missed. Bryce's would be the last shot of the season. He'd never tried shooting a half court shot with a women's ball. (He's probably tried a thousand with a men's ball, however.) He adjusted for the smaller size by shooting for the free throw line.

AND HE MADE IT!

He was tackled by exuberant students who were either really excited about the basket, or who wanted him to share a piece of his $448 prize winnings.

It looks like those hours of "useless" long shots finally paid off.

Memorable Leap-Year Day

2012-03-01T09:44:00.025-06:00

February 29th only comes around once every four years, a snow day only comes around about once a year, and an 18" snowfall comes around about once in a century. For all three to land on one day was a bit spectacular and made for some memorable sites around here.

This was our back door early Wednesday morning. The clouds were very low and thick.

Keith and I cleared a path to the road so that he could get to work. I went in to feed Gabe and wait for the boys to wake up and the snow to slow down before we tried to do any more.

We ate and I went about my business while Gabe went downstairs to play. It seemed to me that he got very quiet, the kind of quiet where a mom knows she needs to check it out. I was just in time. Gabe LOVES to help with the laundry and apparently he had decided that he was capable of more than just helping, he was ready to go solo. He opened the washing machine and emptied the contents into a corner on the floor. He then filled the washer with 10 rolls of toilet paper! He was just going for an eleventh when I walked in. I don't know if he actually knows how to push the right buttons to turn it on, but I'm sure glad I didn't have to find out the hard way.

It was noon before we decided to go out and finish the shoveling. Our "finish" consisted of making paths, not really clearing the entire driveway or sidewalks. With the forecast predicting 40s and 50s all next week we decided not to waste too much energy when the sun would soon take care of it for us. The following pictures are all excerpts from our "labors".

Lisa in our shovel-wide path from the house to the barn. That 3 1/2 foot pile next to her is part of the driveway. If we don't move the pile we don't move the van. We decided the van needs a vacation.

Bryce manning a shovel

Shane doing flips

The inevitable lost boot

Shane doing the "Gabe Toss"

and Gabe loving it.

The boys taking a shoveling break to climb the shed. I love the butterfly stickers on the window of the shed. I think Ellen and Dana put those up about 10 years ago.

Roof-jumping

An advantage of having a tall brother...

...is having access to a roof-slide

Mister Gabe

No matter how prepared I try to be, when this snow breaks loose the thundering sound it makes as it slides down the metal roof will scare me to death!

Double Digits

2012-02-22T10:26:00.030-06:00

There she was

Here she is

Our tenth child is ten. 02-22-2002 was a full ten years ago. I just responded to someone today who said, "The time just flies by," that it hasn't for me. Time just meanders along at an appropriately manageable pace (unless, of course, I'm facing a deadline). I look at the picture of my baby Lisa, my "Squishy" as she was called, and it really does seem like a decade ago. Time hasn't seemed to drag painfully on, but has been slow enough to make me feel like I've been a part of the lives of my growing children. Lisa is going to be a fun girl to grow with over the next ten years. She is full of life and spirit. She has struggled mightily with a complaining spirit, a negative attitude, and a need for control. But, she's growing and learning and, best of all, changing.

The day before her birthday she lamented (not usually a time for lamentations) that the bad thing about birthdays is that they only last one day and then they're over. She told me that other fun things don't end like that. For instance, if you go to an amusement park you can have a lot of fun for the day, but then it's still open the next day and the next if you want to keep going (never mind that we've never gone to an amusement park for consecutive days). Birthdays, however, just end after only one day. Thankfully, she got past her moroseness and had what she described as the best day of her life.

Except for one small part. Owen offered to play anything that Lisa wanted during the hours before her party. She chose a game and they were half way into it when they met a snag. They couldn't agree on a particular rule and Owen chose to quit the game (for understandable reasons considering the tone of the 'conversation'). Lisa was devastated and, after hearing out the situation, I concluded that I couldn't do anything to solve it. Increased devastation and torrents of emotion. But then, the breakthrough. Fifteen minutes later Lisa came to Owen and sweetly and humbly asked if he would play again with her and she would be willing to play by his rules.

I would have been stunned if I hadn't been so immensely proud of her. You can not know what an enormous hurdle this was for my girl. I had privately told Owen that I thought, considering that it was her birthday, he should have agreed to play by her rules in the first place AND I really believe that she was right (although I didn't tell them that). Yet, she chose to enjoy playing a game rather than sulking even if it didn't go her way, a way which she was convinced was right.

So, as I imagine the road of the next decade I can imagine a great deal of joy with Lisa.

Here are some highlights from her tenth year.

Aunt Lisa

Sister Lisa

With Dad between a wedding and reception...why not fish?!

Putt-putt on Mom's birthday

Camping in Glacier National Park

A 'sign' of Roger King's humor in Idaho (The sign reads "WARNING no fishing or diving from the bridge)

Roger took each of the children up for their first airplane ride.

Playing with the Pacific Ocean in Washington

Lisa was fascinated with the statues in Vancouver. It was like a life-size imagination land for her.

Softball

One of many swimming days close to home

At camp with Hope. They "met" in August of 2001, 6 months before they were born and have been friends even since.

Adventurous, determined, and tenacious--Lisa was the only child to make it to the top of the climbing wall that day.

Devoted big sister--just don't ask her to share her toy horses!

Friends gravitate to bubbly, friendly, out-going Lisa, but she loves to play by herself and get lost in her imagination world

My faithful gardening partner helping to plant a Kaylee Hope spring bulb garden

She made the cookies, she decorated the cookies...

...AND she cleaned up the mess without being asked!

Lisa's only frustration with having girlfriends is being teased about having boyfriends. And Lisa has a lot of boy friends. She likes to run and play and compete (a lot like her Mom and sisters, OK...exactly like her Mom and sisters) and she often thinks that boys are just more fun. But for now, this is as close to "boyfriend" as this girl gets.

Ski Day/Scrap Day

2012-02-17T13:06:00.009-06:00

Yesterday was Homeschool Day at Big Powderhorn Mountain Ski Area. Kids (and parents) got a lift ticket, ski or snowboard rental, a lesson, and lunch for $12. It's an amazing deal! Powderhorn doesn't make any money off of this deal and I'm not even sure they break even. It has to purely be a marketing scheme/goodwill gesture. The marketing part certainly works for people who live nearby, but even my kids are talking about how fun it would be to spend a few days there, stay in the lodge, and ski. As for winter vacations, it would be cheaper than taking a longer trip to drive south and they'd be experiencing their home environment and getting a lot of exercise while doing it. I'll have to talk to Keith about that one...

Lisa

Owen

Quinn and Bryce

Bryce wanted me to get a picture of him going off the jump (he actually wanted me to walk out onto the hill and up to the jump to get a good shot--I chose to get a mediocre shot with zoom. I had trouble discerning which skier was him and even seeing what was in my view finder (looking into blinding white). I was thrilled to see that I got it!

Sadly, I was unable to take advantage of the great deal. I had just had an MRI on my knee the previous day (probable torn miniscus) and I didn't think skiing would improve my recovery. But, I didn't want to sit in the lodge all day and do nothing. So, I put together a stack of pictures, matched them with background paper, packed up some scissors and pens, and ended up completing 10 pages for a scrapbook. I haven't been that photo-productive in years! It also reminded how much I like having photo records of our family--yes, I cry when I look back at family photos. So, it encouraged me to get on track with my albums and I got a stack of photos sorted and in their albums today and even ordered another set of prints that were uploaded but never printed.

I love days off that result in fun for the children and enjoyable productivity for me!

Note: A HUGE thank you to Dana for keeping Gabe for me. He would have cried to go out on the slopes the entire time, I would have accomplished nothing, and we both would have been exhausted by the end of the day.

Cameron Asher or The Best-laid Schemes of Mice and Moms (although I don't know what mice have to do with it)

2012-02-11T14:11:00.007-06:00

Here he is!
photo by Wendy Maybury

I actually did make it to see Cameron and help out with the twins this past week....sort of. We waited until Gabe had been fever-free for 48 hours and Lisa and I were without symptoms before setting out for J&J's. We were there for a whole 23 hours. Jamie tried rather unsuccessfully to console me by claiming that I was "a lot of help" for the day.

Lisa, Gabe, and I left our house very early Tuesday morning so we could be there when Joey left for work. We played with Carson and Keira and snuggled Cameron while Jamie slept between feedings. Our day ended at 9:00 pm when I laid down with Gabe to get a good night's sleep for the next day. The stomach bug woke me up at 11:30 (no need for details). Fever and headache took over at 5:00. I was packed up and headed for home with an ambivalent Gabe and a very sad Lisa before Jamie and the kids were up, hoping to decrease the risk of further contamination. I 'limped' home, slept for 2 days, and prayed that I didn't give Carson and Keira the bug for their birthday. So far, it sounds like that prayer was answered.

So, I'm sorry Jamie for leaving you with more cleaning work than the day of rest was probably worth (she put muscle to the prayers and lysoled the house).
I'm sorry Carson and Keira for not spending an extra three days playing with you and going places and picking out birthday presents (Happy 2nd Birthday to you both!)
I'm sorry Cameron for not taking a single picture of you during our one fabulous day together.
I'm sorry Joey for not getting to play that new game with you.
They were all MY losses!!
It'll have to be rain checks all around. I hope I can cash them in soon!

The picture at the top of the page and the three following were taken by Jamie's photographer friend Wendy Maybury. I am not trying to pirate her work, but just want to share her beautiful pictures of our adorable new grandson.

photo by Wendy Maybury

photo by Wendy Maybury

photo by Wendy Maybury

Sad Face Day

2012-02-05T23:25:00.002-06:00

Carson and Keira are sad because Nana is not there. (OK, so I took some liberties interpreting this picture--taken on Christmas Day.) I'm "supposed" to be with them right now, playing with them and holding their new brother. I'm not.

Cameron Asher will be two weeks old on Tuesday and I haven't met him yet. Two weeks may not seem very old, but I met all of our other grandchildren within the first ten hours of their lives. Cameron was born on January 24 (Uncle Troy's 19th birthday). He weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. Granddad and Nana were in the middle of a 10-day getaway, trying to recuperate from life and responsibilities and a schedule that had left time for each other (much less blogging and many other things) almost non-existent.

I don't regret not being here that day. Cameron won't remember it, Joey and Jamie understand it, and Keith and I needed it (oh so much more than we even realized). I do, however, wish I was holding that little boy tonight. Even so, I do not regret staying home today. Last night Gabe surprised everyone with an erupting stomach. Keith spent 5 hours holding Gabe in one arm and a bucket close to the other. When the stomach settled down a fever spiked, and here we are. Carson, Keira, and Cameron (not to mention J&J) need to be healthy more than they need my help (which would come with Gabe's germs).

Hopefully, I'll get over there soon and get some happy pictures of everyone. Then I can put up a true "welcome Cameron" post.

Jazz Mama

2012-01-11T09:02:00.005-06:00

Now I have no excuse. For years when Keith or the children would ask me to play my saxophone I'd decline because it just didn't sound good. I have an old student Buscher that I learned on and later used for outdoor marching band. The sound is awful, the upper range is out of tune, and the high G just doesn't want to play. When I was 15 my parents bought me a better sax at a second hand store. That "better" sax was a Selmer Mark VI and the sound was wonderful. I didn't appreciate just how wonderful it was until many years later. Even so, I've never regretted selling it to a good friend who went on to major in music.

Keith decided, however, that I needed a saxophone that I could play and last weekend he surprised me with one! It's another Selmer and, while it's not a Mark VI, it sounds good. Even with decades of time off and a stiff, dry reed I could tell that this horn can play.

My fingers are stiff, my mouth is weak, and my diaphragm is underused; but I can't believe how good it feels to play again. Now, I just have to schedule some practice time.

You've gotta love a small town

2012-01-06T09:19:00.004-06:00

I called the bank today to verify an automatic deposit and to confirm that my name has been put on the account with my husband. I gave the usual information--name, address, birthdate. Then I was asked a question to verify my identity,

"Did you ever have any kids in show choir?"

It turns out the teller was a classmate of my daughter. (And yes, they were in show choir together.)

Not worth the effort?

2011-12-27T23:47:00.002-06:00

I was picking up some toys yesterday. Gabe saw me holding one of them and announced,

"Hey! That's mine!"

I gave it to him and told him to go put it in his room. He thought about it for a few seconds, threw the toy on the floor and said,

"No. It's yours."

A man's best friend is...

2011-12-18T00:22:00.001-06:00

I knew Owen (12) was listening to a Country Music song when he I heard him ask,

"Is he singing about his wife or his dog?"

How "Those Days" Change

2011-12-06T08:03:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I had "One of Those Days". It started slow and continued to get bogged down as the day progressed. It wasn't an "everything that could go wrong did go wrong" day. It didn't even compare to this day that I navigated over 3 years ago. It was a day that just kept chipping away at me until my nerves felt exposed. There wasn't even any 'thing' or any 'one' that I could point to as the culprit. It was just a-lot-of-straw-on-the-camel's-back kind of a day.

Keith came home and asked how my day was. I just said it was "A KT Oslin Never Gonna Come Back" kind of a day. I'm not sure where my mind went to dig up that decades old song. I'm not even terribly familiar with the song (I got the title wrong). I just remembered the thought of wanting to run away from everything, but stopping and coming back. I didn't go anywhere but I felt like going.

A successful birthday evening for Shane with a crowd of 15 around the table and a great night sleep later and the KT Oslin song was forgotten.

Until I received a blog comment in my email box this morning. It said,

Cindy,
I would like you to know that your blog brings a smile to my face every week, also a tear.. whether in sadness or in laughter..
Thank you so much for sharing the experiences that many of us probably couldn't handle!
God bless,
Kelsey

My run-away song came flooding back to me as I pondered how well I "handled" the experience of yesterday. It also made me think back on how things have changed over the years and how I've reacted to the changes.

I used to call my bad days "Calgon Days" from the Calgon-take-me-away commercials.

I remember my Calgon Days being the 20+ years ago when I had 2, 3, and 4 children under the age of 5. My poor sister-in-law, Jodi, heard way too much about my Calgon days! I don't dismiss the difficulties of coping with dozens of diapers a day, spills, messes, runny noses, shoe-tying, lots of crying, and no help or conversation. But I didn't see the benefits that came with that time in life. Night time for the children lasted close to 12 hours and they all took a 2-hour nap in the afternooon. Keith and I had hours a day to ourselves. My house was clean--beds made, clutter tended to, laundry done systematically (there was so little of it I hardly remember doing it), dishes kept up with....all daily. And weekly I cleaned everything--floors vacuumed and mopped, bathroom scrubbed, dusting done, even the doorknobs and light switches got disinfected. I routinely kept up with letter writing and sewing projects.

When I had "One of Those Days" it looked a lot different that my current "One of Those Days". Thanks have changed. Laundry is no longer a project to start and complete in a day, it's an ongoing part of life that fits into my daily routine. The floors get mopped when I'm sticking to them or Gabe's feet are dirty just from walking through the house. I cleaned a doorknob a few weeks ago,...somewhere. And I've morphed into not being stressed about any of that. It gets done, it's just spread out among a lot of different people and not nearly so scheduled as it once was. We've lived in our home for over 13 years and I've never had the entire house picked up and clean all at one time. One day I might.

What pushes me to my new edge now is the juggling act, physically and mentally. I still deal with the diaper changes and messes, along with the shoe-tying, runny nose, and crying--but not from several children, I only have one with those "challenges". I now work with--a couple of siblings who think their purpose in life is to correct, admonish, and otherwise destroy the self-confidence of the other. A child who works through weeks of math lessons perfectly then completely blanks on the test. When in the middle of the Algebra 1 book and faced with the problem 4x = 3 1/3 I really struggle with the the comment, "but they don't tell me what x is". I now have schedules to keep, people who know what to do but don't do it, and expectations to meet from those who used to just be satisfied to know I was only as far away as the next room.

And it's not that any of those things are impossible or might not even be humorous on some days. But some days they become part of "One of Those Days".

I looked up KT Oslin's song and learned that it's called, "Hold Me". It's also about the relationship between the husband and wife more than their day to day life. Still, the message is there about wanting to take off, but not doing it, and being willing to pick up and get back at it.

There will probably always be "Those Days". The commitment keeps me going, and not just filling shoes and making a presence (which I admit is kind of what I felt like I was doing yesterday). But I'm committed to draw deeper from the well of Jesus so I can smile and love while getting piled with straws. The straws seem to pile up a lot faster and feel a lot heavier when my countenance is down. In fact, I think most of the straws are actually created by the sour countenance!

So, Kelsey, thanks for the encouragement to keep on "handling" "Those Days".

Thanksgiving Weekend Entertainment

2011-11-26T22:20:00.004-06:00

My description of this year's Thanksgiving weekend--a fabulous, fun-filled, friend and family frenzy. We set a record for the number of people gathered for dinner (56) and even added a few more for pie. Our habit for decades has been to open our home for any family and friends who want to gather and/or don't have any family in town. We were thrilled to have so many join us this year! The weather was perfect for the annual football game and gave everyone a chance to get out and run off the meal. I suspect, however, that the old guys were calling huddles just to catch their breath. (Light and Mendo, you remember how cold it was when you were here that we even had trouble keeping warm by the bonfire--this year was warm and I didn't even wear a coat when I went out to take pictures!)

For some people it is strange that anyone would not live near their relatives and for others it is the norm. We discovered that out of the 9 couples present (18 of us) only 2 were actually born in Wisconsin. Even more surprising was realizing that 7 of us were born and/or raised in California. We felt like a real example of the mobility that is available in our modern society.

On Friday, we planned some meals, activities, and game times for our immediate family and one of the highlights was having Bryce produce and direct some lip sync videos. Most of them will remain private and be enjoyed only by the ones who are now regretting letting their inhibitions run away with them. This one, however, shouldn't embarrass anyone and was our favorite of the bunch.

THIS IS MY SISTER!!!!

2011-11-22T06:10:00.002-06:00

Recipient of TOYM (Ten Outstanding Young Minnesotans) Award, 2011. Go Kari! I've seen her "at work" and she is just awesome and amazing and inspiring at what she does. She was probably their number one pick (out of the ten) for this award.

Here's her modest bio:
Kari has been producing human potential events for disease-related causes since 1998. She is the founder and executive director of Charity Events of Minnesota – a non-profit organization created in 2007. CEoM produces the Breast Cancer Ride and in 2012 she and her team will be producing a new event that focuses on men’s cancers. Before founding CEoM, Kari was the original executive producer of the Red Ribbon Ride, which is a four-day bike ride for HIV/AIDS and was also a staff member at Pallotta TeamWorks where she helped produce the AIDSRide and Breast Cancer 3 Day Walks. In the first three years of the Breast Cancer Ride, she has helped raised more than half a million dollars for their beneficiaries: Open Arms of Minnesota and Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Minnesota affiliate. In her time with the Red Ribbon Ride, Kari helped raise 2.7 million dollars for nine different nonprofit beneficiaries. Kari also dedicates personal time to serving her community as a member of the Community Services and Planning Commission for the City of Richfield and volunteers her time with organizations like Open Arms of Minnesota, Stone Family, Dakota Woodland Feed My Starving Children, Rosemount Family Resource Center Special Olympics, and serves as a “Big” for the Big Brothers, Big Sisters. She credits the many people in her life who have “poured their life into her” and acted as a mentor. Kari wants to raise young leaders up and lives by the motto “my ceiling is your floor” – words shared by her pastor that resonates with Kari and motivates her to mentor others.

Welcome Veda Dawn!

2011-11-19T20:45:00.007-06:00

At 6:31 am EST (this morning, November 19) Chet and Priscilla welcomed little Miss Veda Dawn into the world (pronounced VAY-da). This beautiful little girl weighs 8 pounds 5 ounces and is 20.5 inches long. Priscilla was admitted to the hospital at noon yesterday with high blood pressure and early signs of pre-eclampsia. There was talk of having to induce her amid some concern for her health. God answered our prayers and not only brought her blood pressure back down; but, just as they were beginning to set up for an induction her water broke and labor proceeded naturally! Priscilla felt like she was birthing "forever" because she had spent the entire day in the hospital, but her actual labor was only 9 hours long and everything went very well. Even though she claimed her make-up all got wiped off during labor I think she looked every bit as radiant as Dana.

Two babies in two days! It sure brings back memories. Dana was born just two days after her cousin Mark and she is excited and hopeful that these two cousins will have as much fun growing up with each other as she and Mark did. The two girls are just 27 hours apart.

I mentioned in the last post that we were all together for supper on Tuesday night, but what I failed to include is that we had a cake for dessert that I jokingly named "Labor Cake". It was actually the top to Chet and Priscilla's wedding cake that has been in my freezer for just a few weeks shy of two years! Yes, we all braved it and actually ate a piece. It survived quite well and tasted pretty good. I don't know if it had anything to do with bringing on their labors (both in less than 72 hours). But, just in case there's anything to it our advice is: Save your frozen wedding cake until you're ready to go into labor. And if you want the exact recipe you can contact Priscilla's dad for the recipe (yes, he made her wedding cake).

Here is Veda with her Daddy, her Granddad, and Uncle Gabe.

Veda, 8 hours old, sleeping with a little bit of a scowl

Chet, 24 hours old, sleeping with his own little scowl

Nana holding my 4th granddaughter, the daughter of my 4th child (I just have a thing with numbers!).

Welcome Sadie Jean!!

2011-11-17T09:20:00.007-06:00

At 2:12 am (this morning, November 17) Dana and David became the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl. Sadie Jean weighs 7 pounds 7 ounces and is 19 inches long. Wonder-woman-Dana only had 4 hours of labor. I went and saw her this morning and she looked radiant and way too lively for not having slept at all last night. David looked great, too, but I won't say radiant (I think he'd prefer I kept it that way).

Both Dana and Priscilla were here for supper on Tuesday night (both overdue) and I suggested that they each have their baby on the 17th. Our first four grandchildren have birthdates with the numbers 1 and/or 7 in them (11th, 17th, and 7th) which makes it very easy for Nana to keep track of! You can't get any better than 11-17-11. Apparently, Sadie thought it was a good idea because she complied beautifully!

Unhappy Baby Sadie

Almost 21 years ago, an unhappy baby Dana

Holding my 5th grandchild, daughter of my 5th child.

Not to change the subject...

2011-10-28T19:07:00.005-05:00

You just never know what to expect when you're talking to 5-year-olds. I'm sure my Kindergarten teacher friend, Lynn, has a book full of funny kid comments. Sitting in on our local homeschool group classes yesterday, I was privy to some classic kid-comments myself. This was my favorite:

Mr. Johnson was leading 30-minute character classes for three different groups of children between the ages of 5 and 10. I was shadowing Gabe who is part of the 5-6 year-old group. When I walked into the classroom and saw the word "Attentiveness" on the board I had to laugh. I asked Mr. Johnson if he was going to be leading a 30-minute lesson in futility with this age group on that subject. I'm not so sure if he knew exactly what I was getting at but he gave a half-hearted chuckle. After this exchange I'm sure he knew what I meant.

He was talking to the kids about ways that they could show that they were being attentive. That included sitting up straight, not fidgeting, looking at the person who was talking, and responding as the person spoke to show that they were listening.

As he gave the list to the dozen children in the room about half of them were actively demonstrating how NOT to show attentiveness, and I think they were all boys. One little girl was answering every question correctly with her quietly-raised hand while sitting properly in her seat. (I think Grant was daydreaming of getting even with her on the soccer field, which is probably why he fell off of his chair.)

Mr. Johnson asked the children how they should respond to an adult who is talking to them and not even Miss Answer-right was raising her hand. He proceeded to give them ideas,

"You could say, 'Yes sir', or 'Yes maam', or Yes Coach', or 'Yes mom', or 'Yes dad', or maybe 'Yes grandpa', or 'Yes grandma'."

A little girl raised her hand and Mr. Johnson called on her. She added,

"My grandma had a cat....but the dog ate it."

She proved one thing for sure, some subjects are sure to get everyone's attention!

My Lovely Ladies

2011-10-21T10:51:00.012-05:00

While Keith and Daniel were half a globe from home and Chet was half a day away playing football, I planned a White Women's Weekend for my daughters/daughters-in-law. What a pleasure it was to spend an evening and a day with such an exceptional group of young women!

It took a bit of doing to make it all possible.
--Joey stayed home with Carson and Keira and gave Jamie the weekend off to be with the girls. Thank you Joey!!
--Keith and David kept Vince and Karissa at Keith's house so that Ellen and Coley could be free and we could use Dana's house for our night out and slumber party. Thank you Keith and David!!
--Lisa's friend Katie had a birthday overnight party allowing Lisa to get a fun night out while I spent the evening with just the adult daughters (Lisa joined us for the baby shower the next day). Thank you Katie!!
--And finally, Clara F. came to the house to care for Gabe while my boys were at the homecoming football game. Thank you Clara!!
It took a lot of cooperation, love, and sacrifice to allow us to have our weekend!

We met at an area restaurant for supper--yeah, no cooking!

After dinner we headed to Dana's house for the evening. We talked, ate M&Ms, had a devotional, and wrote out cards for each woman telling her something positive that we appreciated about her or an attribute that we saw in her. You can see how seriously everyone took it.

It wasn't all serious, though. We played a game, ate more M&Ms, and drank coffee and hot chocolate. Beautiful girls!!

On Saturday, a baby shower was given to first time moms Priscilla and Dana.

Our three expectant mothers, all looking wonderful!

I feel immeasurably blessed to have these six lovely ladies in my life, and to have spent a very special weekend with them all.

What Love Looks Like

2011-10-14T14:05:00.020-05:00

(Note: Keith has now returned from India and I will post a summary from him when he has one, hopefully Sunday night. )

When Keith left for India more than 2 weeks ago this was in our backyard.

Every year our friend Russ delivers a load (this is 12 cords) that Keith and the boys cut up and stack to feed this.

Thus, our home is heated, keeping us alive through the brutal winter months (21st century or not, no we do not have electric or gas back up). Usually, there is a small stack left over from the previous year that gets added to when the next load comes in. Here's what we had left from last year.

And that is all we had when Keith left for India. You may be thinking, "Go to the ant sluggard" and chiding him mentally for not getting the job (or at least part of it) done before leaving. However, your thinking would be amiss.

The wood was scheduled for delivery the first week of July. It came the first week of September. Shortly after the delivery of the wood Keith received an email from one of the missionaries in India with a schedule of preaching/teaching/evangelistic services in which he was to participate (he and Daniel ended up leading a combined 18 hours of services in 4 days). Keith spent every minute of free time (ie not at work) studying and preparing for the trip.

While Keith was taking care of "God's business", God was watching out for Keith's, in several ways. First of all, we had an unseasonably warm 2-week long "Indian Summer" during Keith's absence. We didn't need the heat. Secondly, he raised up a group of family and friends who chose to show their love for us in a very tangible way.

David, Dana's husband, organized an effort to come to our house after work one day last week and attack the wood pile. I offered to feed the crew and the result is the closest thing I've experienced to an old-fashioned barn raising.

I spent most of the day making muffins, baking bread, and cooking beef roast with onions and carrots. The first vehicle pulled into our driveway at about 4:50 but I never saw the workers, they went straight to the woodpile. I continued cooking and setting out dishes with the help of some of the wives who added more food.

At about 6:00 I took a break to see the work in progress. I was blown away and moved to tears by what I saw.
David, the mastermind of the operation

Jerry (rear), the chainsaw wonder

The cut logs were loaded onto a truck and driven about 75 yards to the barn for stacking. Bryce was in his own little heaven as he was given the job of driving the truck.

Marty (green shirt below) was a walking miracle among us. Just 13 days before this picture was taken he lost control of his motorcycle, hit a semi, and laid the bike down on the highway--wearing jeans and a t-shirt (and a helmet) and going 65 mph. He is definitely still in recovery mode from deep bruises, scrapes, abrasions, and a puncture wound; but, he joined the crew, and even threw a few logs...amazing.

The chainsaws shut down at 7:00 when it got too dark to see. I had supper ready but no one came in. I headed out at about 7:20 to see what was going on and found the entire crew gathered in the dim light by the barn still passing and stacking.

It doesn't look like much here, but those 20 workers (and 10 additional wives and small children) downed 12 pounds of roast beef, 4 pounds of carrots, 12 pounds of potatoes, 3 quarts of applesauce, 3 loaves of homemade wheat bread, 55 cranberry walnut muffins, a pan of oatmeal bread, 2 pints of apple butter, a pan of pumpkin bars, and a pan of blueberry cobbler.

The tears came to my eyes more than once during the evening. Love can be overwhelming.

India Trip Part 7

2011-10-12T07:44:00.002-05:00

This is Ellen~

I just received this from Daniel, he typed it at about 1 pm their time, or 3 am our time. They're looking forward to coming home--not too much longer before they can get to the airport now.

what else should we have expected but more of the unexpected. there wasn't anything we could do. the way the Delhi airport is set up, we had to get from our arrival at 10:50 through a mile (?) long hallway to the main terminal area, get through some checkpoints before we could get to the baggage claim. by that point it was already too late to get our boarding passes, because the American Airlines counter closed at 11:15 for our 12:30 departure. frustrating. I kept repeating 1 Thessalonians 5 in my head over and over. God blessed us though, because an Indian immigrant to the US 20 years ago, was in the same situation as we were, and with his language skills, it was all arranged for Air India to get us a hotel room 5 minutes away, the cab service and everything. what a blessing! versus sleeping on some bench in the airport. we are getting our meals for free today, and at 9pm we head back to the airport and everything is just delayed 24 hours. strange that we experienced exactly a 24 hour delay at the start of our trip too.

I have to look at it as an opportunity to trust God, to find my joy in Him, and not to rely so heavily on my own plans and expectations.

we're stuck in the hotel until 9pm, so I'm hoping to read a bunch, maybe use the gym, pray, and reflect on the trip.

I can hardly wait to have him back! It's been such a good thing to be in a busy household full of distractions and diversions so I haven't had to watch the clock tick!

India Trip Part 6

2011-10-11T14:46:00.003-05:00

I believe this will be the final post before the men return. As expected we heard very little from them during their final leg of their trip. I received a few texts that give a small picture of how they were interpreting their surroundings:

Sunday night:

Laying down near the end of the earth.

Monday morning:

Last travel day today. About 10 hours of driving ahead in between service stops. Looking forward to tonight back at Saripalli home in bed.

Monday evening:

We're currently in the 4th lane of a 2 lane road. By far the craziest driving experience of my life--far worse than Manhattan and more dangerous than anything with all the thousands of humans along the way. Spaghetti supper awaits with Gaynor and family if we make it.

Monday night at 11 pm:

Made it. Able to sit down to table for supper. Looking so forward to bed.

Received earlier today, Tuesday evening in India:

Am on the plane in Hyderabad. Halleluia. I have enjoyed this immensely and have no regrets about the effort. Heading for 5:20 am arrival time in Chicago, IL USA

Ellen and I watched the clock throughout the day and commented on where they were and how soon they would be here. Kind of like counting your chickens before they are hatched I'm afraid. The phone rang at 2:30 pm (1:00 am India time) when the plane should have been flying westward over the western edge of India with Keith and Daniel in their seats. It was Keith, not in his seat. His first words were, "I have bad news". Thankfully it wasn't catastrophic news, just bad. They were not able to board for reasons that Keith was not willing to divulge during his one-minute call. He mentioned something about "rules in India" and "closing the gate" and "not making sense". Lord willing, they will be on the next flight (24 hour delay) and there can be a full post of the more significant aspects of the trip by this weekend.

India Trip Part 5

2011-10-08T06:12:00.003-05:00

This email was sent on Thursday night

This will probably be my last contact. Am writing you from Saripalli living room. Wonderful family. Tomorrow we begin the journey to the field for days till the end. Excited about the new experiences that await us. The time in NE India exceeded all expectations.

However, it was not our last contact. I have received a phone call and several texts. I seems very strange to be texting half-way around the world, for 5 cents a text! He said there is no more need for secrecy. Saripalli refers to Indian native/pastor/missionary Joel Saripalli from near Hyderabad. (In our homeschool research we have learned that Hyderabad is a sort of "Christian stronghold" in India--with a 'whopping' 2.9% considered to be Christians and 1/3 of those considered evangelistic.)

Keith and Daniel spent Thursday evening the Saripalli home with Joel, his wife Gaynor, and their four sons. He spoke very highly of them all. We met the Saripallis about 2 1/2 years ago when they were in the US and it seems their gracious spirits are present at home as well as abroad. More from Keith, Friday morning:

Off to Gloyland today and points east till reach ocean. www.Caryoutreach.org

Sent Friday night:

Laying down to sleep. 11:20 pm. Vijawayda, in "house" on bank of Krishna River where many Durga goddesses from Hindu festival have been disposed in tonight while we were worshipping in bldg adjacent to Pastor Boaz (Christian name) house. What an experience.

I'm not sure if he may have meant "disposed of" but then I'm not too sure what that would really mean either. It's something when something is so foreign that the explanation needs explaining. I hope to hear more.

India Trip Part 4

2011-10-06T09:22:00.002-05:00

Here are a few observations from Daniel on the first leg of their trip. They are now at their second destination and I look forward to hearing news of their travels soon.

It’s been an incredible trip. This first part ...has been amazing. The people are wonderful. The way the classes have gone, we teach for 30-45 minutes, and _____takes notes the whole time because only half the theology class (of 45 students) understands English and the rest speak ____________. Then, when we are done he goes over what was taught in (their language) so the rest of the class can get it, and even the English speaking ones can get another take in their mother language. Can you believe the classes have been some of the best parts of the trip? .....Maybe I am just getting more and more comfortable as a teacher, but really I think it is all just the Lord. He has given me insight in preparing that I could not have manufactured on my own. He has helped me put the classes together just right, and then has given me additional words and points to make once I am actually teaching that I didn’t plan on saying, but fit perfectly into the flow of the message... I took the chapel time this morning for the students of ____________, (grades 6-10)...

Anyway, all this is just to say that the teaching has been a huge blessing, and that’s a surprise because I thought it would be the worst part. I’ve been convicted of my lack of faith, and lack of trusting God, and His design in putting me in this situation, and instead grumbling about “why me, why this burden.” He has provided me with everything I have needed and more in order to do this work, and sometimes He has done it the day before, or the day of, or even in the very moment.

I keep thinking how cool it would be to take some young guys from the church over here to see the campus and the culture and everything involved. it would be such an eyeopener for some people. It’s very similar here to what I experienced in Haiti, except not quite as bad. Haiti is pretty bad. Maybe it will be worse in __________, that’s what _______said anyway, like hardcore slums, but here it isn’t so bad. _____________still has swarms of people, cars, bikes, animals all swarming everywhere. It’s crazy.

We just got back from hanging out with some medical students from the medical university here in _________. They are believers, and were actually at the campus that ________oversees this past weekend for a camp. They are all involved in....a campus parachurch ministry, similar to Campus Crusade, but I think a bit more doctrinally sound. We met them on Sunday, but they went home Monday and your dad wanted to see them some more, so we went in, looked at the hospital and medical center, and then saw their dorms and hung out for a couple hours. It was really fun, good fellowship with these guys, and just a blessing.

I’ve been praying more, reading, meditating, memorizing, studying, preaching, teaching, fellowshipping, singing, praising, thanking, laboring for the Lord to a degree I don’t think I ever have before, and it feels good. I am tired but not worn out. I feel spent in a good way, because I know that it matters. I feel so blessed to be here, and I’m just looking forward to what else the Lord is going to do.

India Trip Part 3

2011-10-05T23:18:00.003-05:00

I received this yesterday:

Wow! Another day done. We are back in hotel room at 8pm. Dark at 5pm here. I will list events only with little commentary to give you sense of our experiences.

October 1, Day 1 in India, land about 2pm, picked up at airport by _______ and _______ , 30 minute drive to hotel – mayhem and chaos that takes your breath away, 3 hours of conversation at hotel, prep for preaching/teaching.

Day 2, Sunday - hotel breakfast; picked up by _______and taken to “campus”; 45 minute drive for about 15 miles with roads and living conditions that are stunningly bad; stop at _______village where church has been planted, enter one of Hindu believers “home” where 7 people live (you would never again complain about anything in your home); arrive at campus; I preach message from John 3 on “Seeing/entering the kingdom of God” to group of about 250; Daniel and I are honored with gifts following service; lunch at _______house; sit down with _______children; give (2) ________college of theology classes; conversations with _____and ______; back to hotel.

Every trip to/from hotel is a somewhat overwhelming experience as you take in your surroundings and the hundreds of activities you see going on during the drive including various stops along the way for miscellaneous supplies and military check points. The effects of the economic blockade are apparent with gas lines and increased tension felt by “campus” people as regular food supplies dwindle and concern grows over availability and prices.

Day 3, Monday – _______picks us up again; conversations understanding the ministries; (2) _______classes; lunch; (2) more classes; tour downtown region including touring marketplace by foot (will take hours to describe the scenes).

Day 4, Tuesday – _______picks us up 7:30; errands along way; coffee and conversation upon arrival; chapel with children from _______, Daniel speaks; final _______classes including presentation of music CD to me and Daniel, farewell; lunch; tour of campus (again hours to describe the homes, agricultural features, animals, facilities, etc.) including meeting _______’s parents 84 and 82 yrs old; on to town with stop to visit pastor of _______, evangelize Hindu family, speaks of his own conversion and the influence of resurrection upon his own change; __________ Medical Services facility visit and visit with medical students who had attended the Sunday services as part of evangelistic crusade; back to hotel about 8pm.

Expecting tomorrow to focus on children ministry. I get to experience your day.

Daniel also sent an email that had quite a few descriptions of what is going on and how he feels God working in and using them this week. Ellen offered to let me post some of it which I will try to do tomorrow.

The men are leaving today for another part of the country and will tour with another missionary before returning home. My understanding is that their situation will not be quite as restrictive and secretive but I'll wait to hear from Keith and let him confirm that.

India Trip Part 2

2011-10-04T07:36:00.002-05:00

Here are some excerpts from yesterday's communication.

Time is going incredibly well here.
Overwhelmed with newness.
Not yet adjusted to clock. Trying to stay up later tonight. I think if I can make it to 9pm will be good.
Food has been ok. no digestion issues.

In response to my question about what to post on the blog he said:

I have not looked at your blog yet, but can tell you they have been very specific with instruction not to put anything specific on internet. And after seeing all of the military guns and spies and “intelligence” people evidence just for me and Daniel - I get the local picture very well. More convinced than ever before that America has been richly blessed by our God for our collective worship of Him as a society. The effects of spiritual darkness are so clear here as you take in the “normal” way of life of the non-believing portion of the people.

India Trip

2011-10-02T17:39:00.004-05:00

Keith, along with our son-in-law, Daniel, went to India for a 2-week missions trip last week. I've been updating so many people that I thought it would be easiest to just post the update here for all interested parties to see.

The men were scheduled to leave on Wednesday evening but upon check-in at the airport they were told they could not access this at-risk country (even as tourists) without a visa. Not knowing if they could get a visa or switch their flight plans they pushed ahead asking God to work the nearly impossible. One airline ticket agent told them it would cost $3000 each to make the switch. The visa application states that it should take 1-3 days to get an approved visa.

They spent Wednesday evening driving around Chicago to locate the embassy and find a hotel close to it. They showed up at the embassy at 9 AM with their completed visa applications (with photo thanks to a late night Walgreens). They were given no promises but told to come back before the 6:00 pm closing time. They ended up walking out of the embassy with approved visas at 5:50, made it to the airport with 20 minutes to spare (check in regulation time) and departed at 9:45. The additional cost was $0. They knew the fault was theirs that they didn't have the necessary paperwork completed. They knew the credit was God's that they were delayed by only a day.

I heard from Keith to know that they made it to London (1st leg of the trip). Last night I got an email that confirmed the next 3 legs were successful as well. It took them 30 hours to arrive at their destination (exact locations are being withheld unless I get permission from Keith to post, they are being warned of secrecy for the safety of those with whom they are working).

Here is an excerpt from the email:

Following examination from Indian "intelligence" at ________ airport, were met by _____________outside terminal building.

Evidence of 3rd world surround us--everywhere.

Being cautious/careful, yet friendly as much as possible (example, when guy exchanging USDollars to rupee asks me where I am staying in __________ and what is phone number, I say myob).

Both of us are wide awake (for hours now--it is 4 am). I will be preaching for the main worship service 10 am or so. Will be extremely full Lord's day with as many as 4 separate teaching/preaching sessions with variety of audiences--entire church assembly, children 13-17 years old, theology adult students, and college students 20 years old and higher. Speaking challenges will abound. Looking forward to see how the Spirit works out this day.

Join me in praying for them on this trip. I will keep posting as I learn new information.

Family Milestone Weekend

2011-09-26T08:14:00.026-05:00

I had some pretty big family reunion milestones last weekend. My aunt and uncle (mom's sister Shirley and husband Roger) were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Their oldest daughter and her family live in Spain so plans were made well in advance for a large family gathering. My siblings and cousins from Iowa, Wisconsin, California, and Spain all gathered in Minnesota for the event.

The night before the party my sisters and brother and I got together with some of my kids for the evening. It was the first time the four of us have all been together in one place since May of 2002. We sat around and talked, reminiscing about our visits to Roger and Shirley's farm as kids and comparing memories.

Saturday morning we met our dad for breakfast. Our family experienced some major breakdowns and seemingly irreparable damage in the late 80s. Our dad had not been with all four of his children in one place, together, since Christmas of 1986. Each of us, over the years, has worked out our family connections in our own way and on an individual basis, especially with our dad. Saturday morning was comfortable and happy. It was a long time coming, but it came. And Dad was SOOO happy!

We took some family pictures outside the restaurant. The one of the four of us turned out well.

Something about black and white makes a picture just look more "permanent" to me.

I got one really nice picture of Dad with Tom and Kathy. I know Kari got quite a few, and has one of him and me so I wasn't too worried about getting my own. I tried, however, and couldn't get Dad and Kari to stop laughing.

They kept laughing

And laughing

And laughing

And laughing!

At the anniversary party there was another long overdue reunion. There are 10 cousins on my mom's side of the family. Eight of us are only 6 years apart with Tom and Kari trailing along 2 and then 4 years later. My mom had the oldest (me) and youngest (Kari). I followed in her footsteps as my son Joey is the oldest of the next generation and Gabe is the youngest. We tried to figure out when we were last all together and the best concrete date we have is 1978 at the funeral of our grandfather. We were probably together in 1980 but can't be sure. Our last photo together was taken in 1977. After 34 years we made sure to get another.

"Quisley" cousins, 1967

1977

2011

Our final stop was a gathering of the immediate family and us cousins back at the farm. I don't remember not going to the farm to be with family. Most of our reunions were held there, and that was where we headed for family weekends. Uncle Roger milked cows so it was always easier for us to make the 90 minutes drive there than for him to get help doing chores. We enjoyed sharing a list of our farm memories. The four of us were the "city kids" of the family. I think our favorite lesson learned from our farming relatives was, "a man's entire arm can actually disappear in the rear end of a cow".

So much was the same, kids playing ball in the yard.

The big tree with a swing

Teenagers who didn't want to go, asked to leave early, and then begged to stay later as they got to know their relatives and started having fun. Shane and Bryce enjoyed meeting and playing a game with their Spanish cousins Nicole and Natasha. Lisa asked me when we would see them again. I said I didn't know, possibly never. "That's not fair!", she said, "I just met them and I like them and I might not see them again!?" Hopefully we will.

The reason for the gatherings and joy was this couple, Uncle Roger and Aunt Shirley. They represented our home away from home. My brother Tom lived with them for almost 6 weeks when he was 2 while my parents, Kathy, and I went to Norway. Tom was always close to them, spending weeks there during the summer throughout his childhood. Before I went to England I spent time with Uncle Roger photographing and learning about his farm. I started to enjoy my uncle as a person, and since have cherished my visits and benefited from his very practical and sensible way of looking at life. After my mom died 9 years ago Shirley has done what she could to take her place, if not in a physical way (because of our distance) in an emotional way. My daughter Ellen and granddaughter Karissa were with us at the gathering and Shirley referred to herself as "great-grandma", and I loved it! Shirley and Mom definitely had one thing in common, a dislike for cameras! I could not get her to really smile for me.

When we grouped together for a picture of the four of us with them you can see that we were having trouble figuring out which camera to look at.

Kari said something funny, people got silly, and Shirley started to laugh. So even though it's not much of a picture I just love how happy she looks here.

The only trouble with Milestone memories is that they are just way too few and far between. I think it's about time for a Duluth get-together...

Camp 2011

2011-08-30T08:11:00.043-05:00

Every year we like to say that this year was the best camp year ever. I can definitely remember some years that do NOT fit that description. Sometimes having a baby or several young children make the week less relaxing than it would be otherwise; sometimes there are campers who cause trouble, complain, or just have an attitude that requires summoning up more grace than you would like to summon; sometimes there are squabbles, factions, and cliques among people that creates a noticeable division in the camp; and sometimes the weather is cool (or cold) and wet.

Besides having to keep up with Gabe, this year, for me, really was just about perfect. The weather was fabulous, the kids were cooperative, the campers were tremendously helpful, the overall spirit in the camp was gracious and kind, and I got to hear every single message!! This year was our 19th camp and it's the first time I've heard all of the messages. I'm not sure if I've even heard half of them before. It was quite a treat. (I believe the messages (by Kyle White and Brent Nelson) will eventually be posted at www.northwoodsbaptist.com under the Camp link if you have the time to listen and want to receive a blessing.)

Here are some snapshots of our wonderful week.

ENJOYED HAVING SO MANY OF OUR OLDER KIDS (and granddaughter) THERE--the older ones actually enjoy sitting and talking with us, the younger ones just want to be with their friends!

FORT BUILDING

WALL BALL--a boys' game where it seems they are trying to kill each other, and looks like it too!

HALF COURT SHOT COMPETITION

EVEN THE RAIN WAS FUN

WATERFRONT ACTIVITIES

VOLLEYBALL

POOR GABE

GABE IS SIDELINED

GABE GETS TO PLAY

TALENT SHOW NIGHT

FYI--The conference/camp sponsored by Northwoods Baptist Church and held at Camp Nicolet is open to any who love the Lord and wish to join in a week of family fun and Christian fellowship. We will meet again August 20-26, 2012, but many of us will be joined in spirit all year long!

Our final MTU Huskies season?

2011-08-15T10:27:00.004-05:00

We've been driving up to Houghton to watch our boys plays college football for six years. This seventh year (watching jersey #7) could be the last. Troy decided to head south for his college years and plans to try out for the baseball team. Shane, who is closing in on 6'6", is working on his basketball skills with hopes of it helping pay his way through school. Bryce and Owen aren't on the college radar yet and I'm not pushing them!

This final season promises to really end with a bang for Chet and Priscilla. Not only is the last regular season game in the dome at Northern Michigan, the traditional big rival for The Miner's Cup, it is on the calendar for November 12, one day after the due date of their first child.

For you Husky fans, click here a look at what the team is shaping up to be this season. Here are a few quotes from the article.

If the old saying, "defense wins championships," holds true, then the 2011 Michigan Tech football team will have a chance to be among the top in the Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference standings come November.

The Huskies entire defensive secondary returns-and they're all seniors. That includes All-GLIAC Second Team strong safety Jesse Vandenberg, who has 220 career tackles including a team-high 83 a year ago. Chet White, who plays an outside linebacker position, started all 10 games a year ago and posted 62 tackles and a team-high three interceptions.

Practice for this final season is officially underway. Go Huskies! Go Chet! DON'T GET HURT!!!!

Phun Phonics with Gabe

2011-08-11T20:34:00.005-05:00

We've been caring for our Minnesota twins this week (Carson and Keira) and have read LOTS and LOTS of books. After nap time today I was reading an alphabet book to them along with a very enthusiastic Gabe and we were on the M page. There was a picture of a motorcycle and Gabe quickly called out, "Bike!"

I said, "No Gabe, remember, it starts with 'm'."

"Oh," he said, giving me a funny look, "a mike."

And that's a GOOD thing?

2011-08-04T13:24:00.003-05:00

One of my married children recently shared an observation with me,

You and Dad have really done a great job at raising all of your children to be really excited about getting out of the house.

It was supposed to be a compliment.

Best Surprise Birthday EVER!

2011-07-26T08:46:00.005-05:00

If you ever check into my little corner of the world you'll have noticed I've been silent for over a month. Chet is certainly tired of seeing "Mom Confessions" and has given up looking for updates. Although, he knew that we were on vacation for three weeks of that time (not something I wanted to publicly advertise) so probably expected it and understood.

I had planned to do a series of posts from that trip for my family so that I could connect with all of them after our long absence. However, they connected with me instead!

I "celebrated" my birthday on the 15th in Havre, Montana. It was not intentional. We were stranded there while waiting for our van to be repaired (I hit a deer--actually, I completely destroyed a deer and he destroyed the front end of our van and everything under the hood that holds fluid of any kind). So, Havre it was.

It wasn't too bad. I had an air conditioned hotel room, a pool, a putt-putt golf game (which I won), a huge Dairy Queen Snickers Ice Cream cake compliments of David and Dana who called it in for me, and many phone calls and birthday messages.

We finally made it home on Wednesday the 20th and moved on with life. By this past Saturday my birthday was a very distant memory. Keith and I went out shopping in the morning while the children did the general housecleaning. I walked into the kitchen with my bags to see the counters cleaned off and Troy putting away clean dishes.

I exclaimed how great the kitchen looked--I'd begun cleaning out the refrigerator after our absence and had dishes to clean out and wash sitting on the counter. He responded, "Yeah, well you should see your room." I was perplexed, I had left my room clean and the bed made and I told him so. "Well, you should go look at it," was all he said.

Immediately I groaned, "Gabe!" Keith and I headed down to inspect the damage. As I opened the door I was saying something like 'oh boy, what did he do' when I was greeted with a thundering, "SURPRISE!"

Packed in my room were my 5 married children, their spouses, and 2 grandchildren (2 were sleeping elsewhere). Coming down the stairs behind me and joining us in the room were my younger children (minus Shane who came later after a basketball event). We spent the next few minutes hugging, crying (OK, so I was probably the only one crying), laughing, explaining, and hearing the details of the events leading up to the surprise.

They pulled it off wonderfully. I had no idea they were in my room or were planning anything like that. On my way down to the room I stopped by our extra refrigerator to put away the milk and found three cheesecakes. I was confused and wondered how they got there but I didn't connect it to the "mess" in my room. I only thought Keith/Coley or Dana/David had needed some extra refrigerator space and had left their cheesecakes there--thinking it might be possible that they would be coming over in the evening (I had actually texted them to invite them over for a cook out) but not thinking it was a surprise.

The entire day was spent enjoying my family. They had the food all taken care of, they brought outdoor games, and they did all the clean up! I had one final surprise when I was blindfolded, led outside, picked up (nice to have big, strong sons), and placed in a hammock (like I need another gift!). It was a fabulous, amazing, tremendous, wonderful day. And I didn't take one single picture. I didn't want to miss a second of enjoying the day by being behind a camera. The memories will just remain in my heart.

Mom Confessions

2011-06-24T19:14:00.004-05:00

A quarter of a century ago seems like, well..., a quarter of a century ago. Back then I didn't think too much about our rapidly growing family. Everyone around me was amazed and shook heads in disbelief as every year or two our family photo grew by one.

We didn't see it that way. We shrugged, or laughed, and just carried on, enjoying every minute (OK, maybe not EVERY minute), but in the general scheme of things we were pretty blissful about the whole arrangement. We loved raising our family!

What I didn't think about was the sudden explosion of life that would take place a decade or two down the road. It started with the teen years and the inevitable shift in hormonal balance and one thing led to another and here we are. In a matter of fewer than five years we have added five in-laws, four grandchildren, are expecting three more, have three teens at home, and still have three more up and coming.

It's not that I didn't consider the possibilities of family growth. But it's more than just that, SO much more! It's meshing the numerical growth with the individual growth and journey of each child finding their own way, understanding who they are apart from family, challenging or accepting not just who they are but who WE are, and then, in the midst of this ideologically challenging soup, leaving and cleaving to their new life mate, while a half a dozen others are in various stages of the same process--it all leaves a mama feeling whooped.

On any given day I can be the best mom ever, the worst mom ever, the most understanding, the least understanding, the greatest blessing, the biggest curse, the most desired, the least wanted, the smartest, or the most clueless.

I never set out to prove that I was going to be the world's best mom and show everyone how it was done. I didn't dream of writing "How to" parenting books or giving lectures while holding up my perfect posterity as examples of my authority. And now that I have a few years and stories under my belt I shy away even more from questions of "What did you..?"

I just wanted to stay home and be a mom. On the whole, I didn't bargain for the great ocean of emotional upheaval that would come with loving and pouring myself out for my children. There is just no way I could have ever understood the intensity of the heartache (in the good and bad) that is part of this job. I've had times that I looked at my husband and confessed, "It's just not worth it. We don't come close to getting back anywhere near what we put in." I dream about being alone and escaping demands and accusations. I imagine not having to be so responsible and accountable ALL THE TIME. I imagine, being the kid.

And then I think of Jesus. I remember that, with him, I AM the kid. I think of his great love and sacrifice and how little he gets in return for what he's given. I see myself, the kid, through my experienced eyes as the parent. And I'm not too happy with what I see. I see, as the child, the same things in myself that I struggle with in my children, and my heart softens for them. I see, as the parent, Jesus' perfect example for my life--giving for me his perfect love in love and submission to the Father. I'm shamed and humbled, but not into despondency. My sins are covered by his forgiveness, my hard heart is washed in his love, I'm clothed in his righteousness, and I'm renewed in his spirit.

Motherhood IS worth it, but not for childish kisses and sweet secret notes, or for late night conversations or expressions of gratitude. It's worth it because it draws me closer to my Savior and helps me see myself in a different light, as he sees me. It inspires me to be a better child. And through all of that it makes me more content and full of love for what I have as a parent. It also makes me realize that in so very many ways I get back much more than I put in.

Not working

2011-06-20T08:29:00.003-05:00

Aunt Susie called me on Saturday. This was our conversation:

Susie: What would you think about me going on a memory pill?

Me: You're already taking a memory pill.

Susie: I am? Oh yeah, I forgot.

Troy's Graduation

2011-06-06T07:50:00.012-05:00

We officially have more children who have graduated from high school than have not. Troy surprised himself by graduating in the top 10% of his class. Troy was motivated by his desire or need to learn. If a class was interesting or relevant he applied himself (i.e. he dominated the upper math classes but only limped through beginning Spanish). He was not spurred on by GPAs or grade competitiveness. He should do very well at the college level where he can focus on classes in his engineering major. Way to go, Troy!

Lining up to enter the stadium, you can see our very late spring trees still at the end of their bloom.

Receiving his diploma, tenth to the last out of 213.

Switching the tassels.

A perfect sunny, 75 degree day.

A mock interview by the brothers, complete with radio personality mimicry. Shane can do a very impressive Jeremy Mayo!

A group photo of the middle brothers

I took the first photo and Chet said, "OK, take another, I won't stand on my toes." People who don't know his family ask if he's the tallest of his siblings. In many families 6'1" would be the tallest. Not so with us. Shane at 6'5" (for now) is actually the tallest, but Keith at 6'4" often stands the tallest.

Chet has fun playing it up though.

What a handsome couple of guys! As we walked into the stadium one of the students asked Shane, "Hey! Is that your dad?" He acknowledged that he was and the boy replied, "He wears a fedora?! Your dad is the man!" Oh yeah.

Congratulations Troy!

Keeping up with Gabe

2011-06-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

I spent the afternoon with Gabe yesterday. Just Gabe and me, for three hours. We did things Gabe-style. I had to stop at a grocery store, but even there I let him direct me. We looked at things he liked and walked where he wanted to go.

We toured a garden center because the piles of rocks fascinated Gabe.

We pulled in to an animal wildlife center and walked the grounds. Gabe ran to see the geese and ran to see the burros and ran to see the fish and hopped on the kiddie rides not caring if I didn't insert a quarter.

We went to playground. It was here that I had a vision of Bill Keane's Family Circus. Gabe was Billy and he ran circles around the park. I could just see the dotted lines in my mind's map of Gabe's playground tour.

Gabe climbed up a ladder and went down the slide, he climbed the rock wall, and went down the slide backwards, up the stairs, down the slide on his belly, went to the merry-go-round, the teeter totter, the big swings, the baby swings, the handicapped swings.

He crawled through the play tube, went down the slide on his belly backwards, went to the baby park, rode the fire engine, climbed the structure, ran back to the big park, hung from the glider, went down the slide on his back forward, went down on his back backward, went down on his knees, went down on his feet, and once he even sommersaulted down it.

He ran to the beach and ran up and down the two piers, he climbed over the rock wall, he ran into the tennis court and lapped the two courts, he ran around the sand volleyball pit.

And then he repeated all of the above several times.

Most of the time I ran and followed and offered a completely unnecessary protective hand. The one time I tried to sit for a minute he sprinted to the glider and commandeered a dad to give him a ride.

We left the park with a tired Mama and a very happy Gabe. As we drove down the road Gabe called out, "Want butterflies!" He began to sing, "Old Macdonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a BUTTERFLY!" (ceasing with the tune and hollering the word 'butterfly').

Since it was a special outing for two, I honored his request. We pulled into McDonalds for 'french fries'.

Learn at your own risk

2011-05-24T10:27:00.003-05:00

Bryce posted this warning on the cover of his math notebook.

It says,

Cursed
Math
Toxic
Warning
Math is very hazerdous to your health!!!

Apparently, so is spelling.

Family Baseball Bash Weekend

2011-05-18T08:21:00.035-05:00

As a family grows up, adding spouses and another generation, it gets more and more difficult to get everyone together. You fall into the "holidays, weddings, and funerals" routine. But those are never good times to just relax and be together, having fun, and living normal crazy family moments.

We made the "normal" (which is now everything but normal) happen last weekend. It was opening day for Little League (and no child wants sibling fans more than a Little League player). There was also a high school double header and nothing else on the calendar for the day. Invitations went out and it actually worked out for everyone to come home!

We hired a babysitter to stay with the three toddlers at Keith's house so the adults could reminisce late into the night. We spent our first evening telling baseball stories from the past. I made a baseball memory collage for each player/fan and we passed the photos around to help jog rusty memories. When it comes to sports, and baseball in particular, these people needed no help in jogging memories. They remembered scores, counts on the batter, placements of pitches, fielder errors, opposing players, and everything in between.

Our children represented 18 years of baseball/softball, 60 seasons, and innumerable hours of fan bench time. Here are some of the memory lane highlights.

Little Troy Wanna-be ball player

Little Shane Wanna-be ball player
Keith's high school team trying to hurry spring along

Ellen, one of many family catchers

Bryce, practicing for a future catching position

Joey and Keith with coach Dad (who is in his 16 year of coaching) with their team at a Woodchucks game. Keith is sporting the stylish red shorts and Joey is immediately behind him and to his right. Those wide, flat-billed hats are coming back.

Joey, our sole south paw pitching.

Troy and his glove were inseparable
Chet, flanked by high school batboy brothers

Four boys were on one team that year, Keith and Chet as players, Bryce and Owen as batboys.
Dana, our fifth child and fifth left-handed batter. Joey taught them well.

We've decided that the high school coaches look at the last name of our kids on the roster and say, "White, OK, outfield." Perhaps for good reason. Chet showing how it's done.

Shane spent hours in the backyard pitching against the brick shed wall. He and Troy played whole series against that wall.

Lisa had her first practice and team pictures on our Baseball Bash Saturday. She's finally graduated from fan to player.

Another highlight in the lives of the spectators was to run the scoreboard, and they took it seriously!

Chet--most likely stealing home in some unorthodox situation. His favorite challenge was the suicide squeeze. A few younger brothers got in trouble trying to imitate him.

Joey and Owen cheering on Chet's state tournament Little League team.

Going to the state tournament brings the news. My older boys all know this reporter's name and said he's now a big shot sports announcer for .... a Chicago station? I love Troy in this shot. The little brother crowding in to be part of the big brother's success. In his younger days Troy was known for his "gawking"--no better way to learn than to keep your eyes open and pay attention.

Saturday's weather was cool, windy, and rainy--about as miserable as baseball weather can be for old fans and babies. Our high school field added a beautiful facility that has indoor ringside seating with huge windows and heaters for the less weather hardy. We had an indoor picnic and spread our group out between the comfy seats and the outdoor stands. The team won both games, the second win came with a walk-off double, the win being the first time we led in the game. Troy and Shane didn't have their best games but they enjoyed the motivation and cheers from all of the added voices.

We had planned to have a photographer take an outdoor famiy picture after Owen's Little League game, but the cold weather was too much for our little ones and we headed home to try to get a decent picture with my non-professional camera.

Carson was crying, the other babies and Gabe were looking everywhere but the camera, and one of the teens (wonder who that was) keeps claiming he "didn't know that was the real thing".

We resorted to having everyone clap and cheer to amuse the babies and then quickly strike a pose and see what happened.

This was about the best we could do, but with 22 people, empty stomachs, 4 babies, etc. I was pretty satisfied.

We ate, goofed around, and took more pictures.

Keith jr., the big Brewer fan, gathered everyone who was wearing Brewer gear for a photo.

Joey, a rival Cardinal fan, had his own team support.

We managed to get the four babies lined up together. I call this one, "Best used before November 2011". Lord willing we will have 2 more to add to the grandchildren photo then.

While Carson, Keira, and Vince were heading to bed a group gathered around the piano to sing. I didn't take very many pictures because I just wanted to enjoy the time. I did grab the camera and caught about a half a minute of an impromptu acappella song.

Our final activity was a game of telephone pictionary. As we finished the round and each person's stack of papers came back to them we all read through our papers. Joey started to laugh then the laughter turned to shrieks and tears. I didn't have a video camera close by but I recorded the group review of his papers later.

Joey later commented, "I don't remember when I last laughed so hard." Jamie reminded him, "It was when you were home with your family."

There's something about family that lets us "let go" and relax and be comfortable and really laugh. I think maybe my new favorite holiday is going to be whatever our last impromptu gathering was. Thank you to all of you for making it home and being together!

Mom Fatigue

2011-05-17T06:23:00.004-05:00

I couldn't help but think of my mom last week as I held my little Gabe through 20 bouts of throwing up. I held his head, rocked him, stroked his hair, and told him it would be OK. I thanked God for giving me a mom who used to do the same thing for me.

My dad was a photography school student at Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara, CA when I was a baby. He did this photo story of me with mom for one of his classes. Last week, I felt just like that.

Gabe, of course, wasn't feeling any better and fell asleep anywhere and everywhere he laid his head, which was always just a few inches from where I was.

Having an extra chromosome gives Gabe a disadvantage when it comes to illness and his little body always takes a pretty hard hit. This morning was the first one in over a week that he woke up in his usual way--cheerfully playing with his toys and jabbering his made-up stories to his stuffed animals. Today we begin adding normal foods back into his diet to make up for a weight loss of over 10% of his body mass.

I had no idea how much heart when into mothering when I was on the receiving end. Mom tried to warn me, though. One of her favorite quotes was,

"When they're little they're a handful,
When they're big they're a headful,
But they're always a heartful."

Got Hops

2011-05-11T09:37:00.004-05:00

When your son comes home from baseball practice with a gash on the back of his upper arm this in one explanation you are not expecting.

We were playing basketball for warm-ups and I ran down the court and jumped up to block a lay-up and got my arm wedged between the rim and the backboard.

PS Yes, it IS a ten-foot high rim.

Mother's Day

2011-05-06T08:41:00.002-05:00

Jean Marie Quisley Sundsbo Johnson; March 23, 1939-March 27, 2002

Happy Mother's Day Mom. She's been gone for over 9 years, but left the gift of a loving example for me to pattern as I raise my own family. This is one of my very favorite pictures of her, taken in August 1980. This is how I remember her, brown hair, big smile, crooked teeth (before her partial), barefoot, doing something for someone else (in this case she was sewing clothes for me to take to England), and a cup of coffee nearby. She was also never without a cigarette, but I'm glad I can't find it in this picture. It's the one bad memory of I have of growing up with her, and it ended her life. I love you, Mom!

Short and Sweet

2011-05-04T07:41:00.004-05:00

Gabe has learned how to pray before meals and when we sit down to eat he often asks, "Pray?"

If I say, "You do it," he typically says something like,

"God, thank you for the food, Amen."

The hungrier he is the more jumbled and rushed the prayer.

One day he must have been particularly famished because, when I asked him to pray, he simply said,

"I pray, Amen."

Makin' Eyes at Me

2011-05-03T18:05:00.004-05:00

30 Years of Long....Gone

2011-05-02T18:34:00.001-05:00

Belated Easter Picture

2011-04-28T17:57:00.003-05:00

Easter circa 1969 Cindy and Kathy
This makes me admit that my children are right, I did live in the olden days.

NOW what would you say?

2011-04-26T10:33:00.005-05:00

It looks like you were all in agreement about giving the teens a "taste of their own medicine" after leaving dishes on the counter for a week. (See last post.)

However, here's part 2.

Let's say those same boys who were home all week and didn't clean up the bowl and pan from the corn bread were (between the two of them) busy doing this:

--Working (job) four days
--Attending daily baseball practice and a game
--Cleaning out the entire garage/barn
--Moving the fishing boat from storage to its outdoor parking spot
--Removing the old basketball backboard and hoop and installing a new one
--Taking out all of the windows in the house, cleaning them, vacuuming the tracks, and putting them back in again
--Cleaning out and organizing the tool/work room
--Cleaning out and organizing the pantry
--Cleaning out a large storage (aka 'junk') room and assembling items to be taken to Goodwill
--Going to their uncle's newly purchased house to help paint, clean, and get ready for moving day

AND remember, it was Spring Break for these 2 high school guys. No Florida beaches for them.

As for me, I'm having no trouble doing their laundry (besides, they even kept up with their own during that week).

What would you say?

2011-04-24T22:48:00.004-05:00

Let's say a mother and father and four of their children go away for a week and leave 2 teenagers, ages, oh...let's say...18 and 16, at home alone.

Let's say the mother makes a batch of cornbread for the last family-together meal and then leaves before the meal is finished (because she is driving a separate vehicle and making additional stops on the way).

Let's say half of the family returns with the father a day before the mother returns.

Let's say the mother finally returns and finds the afore-mentioned cornbread pan (now empty) and the dirty mixing bowl still sitting on the counter.

That said, would it be considered appropriate for the mother to, in kind, now make a point by letting the dirty laundry sit for a week?

He is Risen

2011-04-24T00:10:00.003-05:00

Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life...whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11: 25-26

Young Truth

2011-04-13T08:29:00.004-05:00

Recently, Lisa's brothers would not let her play with them and she wailed to me:

"Nobody likes me!"

Considering the immediate circumstance with her brothers I countered with:

"I'm sure your friends like you."

Unconvinced she explained:

"That's because they don't really know me."

So I asked:

"If they really knew you what would they think of you?"

Meekly and soberly, she replied:

"They'd think I was a brat."

Unknowingly, Lisa is wise beyond her years. It took me 10 years longer than her to realize that I, too, was a brat. I thank God for His subtle way of opening our eyes to who we really are and giving us hope in Christ for a changed heart.

Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it."

Play With Me

2011-04-08T09:36:00.006-05:00

A few days ago Gabe came to me and asked, "Play puzzles?"

I took the puzzles down from the shelf, set them down on the rug and said, "I'll put them right here."

He sat next to them with a huge smile, patted the rug next to him and said, "Mama, you sit right here."

Gabe wants what every child wants, for Mama to play with him. If I put the puzzles down and go on with my work he just scatters the pieces and looks for mischief. But, if I sit down and play with him he matches the colors, names the shapes, finds the numbers, counts the pieces, and plays every game I throw at him.

Gabe can accomplish things with his puzzles when I'm by his side that he won't even begin when he's alone. He thrives on the encouragement and the cheers.

But it's not that way with everything. He'll shoot and dribble a basketball all on his own for hours (really) because he just loves it. He loves it when we cheer for him, but he doesn't need it because he loves to play basketball.

I was told once that a child with Down syndrome has to hear or see something a thousand times before he "gets it". I wonder who came up with that nonsense. I think, just like anyone else, a child with Down syndrome catches on to things quickly when they want to catch on and slowly when they don't. It's true, most things take longer and the learning process is slower. But, a thousand times?!

I could almost believe that if I had a narrow focus on Gabe's life. Maybe if I was a therapist who saw him once a week in a little room and analysed that tiny slice of his life I could think that. Or even if I just looked at the time we've spent working on colors I could think that.

I had just about decided Gabe was color blind when he finally started matching colors a year ago. Since then we've worked on naming nine colors on his fish puzzle almost daily. He knows black, white, and pink. He's probably had many thousands of color lessons but he's not getting it.

I think Gabe just doesn't really care. He's not interested in naming colors. It doesn't matter to him.

Three years ago I read a book to him in our church nursery that had a rabbit in it. I named the rabbit and made the sign for rabbit. When I read through the book a second time Gabe signed 'rabbit' when we got to the rabbit page. I was surprised (we were 999 short of the necessary repetitions).

A week later I read the book to Gabe again and on the rabbit page he got very excited and signed 'rabbit'. So much for the thousand theory.

So I'm not repeating the puzzle lessons because I want to drill color facts into Gabe. I know he'll get it when he's ready and wants to get it. I do the puzzles with Gabe because he likes to be with me and show me what he knows and have me clap for him and hug him when he matches the pieces.

One day he'll know the names of the colors, but every day he'll know I love him.

Just one day

2011-04-06T14:09:00.004-05:00

Some nights I flop into bed, literally hitting the pillow, and intentionally let out a loud sigh. I've told Keith I do it when I want to exhale the day away, and my sigh just feels like a final exclamation at end of it.

I recently had one such day. I had to record it here because I want to be able to laugh at it later.

9:15 am--Drive child #1 to the carpool meeting spot for an activity
9:30 am--Do the bi-weekly grocery run
10:30 am--Unload groceries
11:00 am--Drive child #2 to a baseball practice
11:20 am--Put away the groceries
12:00 noon--Lunch with husband and children #3, 4, and 5
1:00 pm-Drive children #3 and #4 to meet their ride to a friend's who will later get them to an evening activity (for which we offered to drive a larger carpool, we'll just be without them until the ride home)
2:00 pm--Pick up child #1 from activity
2:15-3:40 pm--Cook 3 homemade pizzas for children #1, 2, 5, and 6 for their supper and 1 pizza for children #3 and 4 to take to the potluck for their evening activity while husband and I go out for a date while we wait for the kids' activity to end.
3:45 pm--leave to pick up other kids for the carpool to the activity
4:30 pm--Drop off kids at the activity, head out for the date
4:31 pm--Van makes a very loud sputtering noise and smells strongly of exhaust--roll the windows down and head to the next town.
4:50 pm--Stop to shop because husband showed up for the date wearing a sweatshirt, athletic pants with holes in the knees, and gym shoes with no socks. He had an excuse--he returned home too late from the Y to change before we had to leave the house.
6:00 pm--Stop at a mechanic to learn the van can be driven, but there could be major engine damage driving 30 miles home. We feel we have no choice but to carry on and with over 242,000 miles is it really going to be worth the repair?
6:20-9:30 pm--Great Greek dinner, good time, dessert with a big screen TV to watch the NCAA basketball game
9:30 pm--I suggest, "Why not have AAA tow it home?" Why didn't I think of that 5 hours earlier? Husband gets the tow set up and I start calling to make new arrangements to get our 2 children home, plus another 4 in the carpool. I make a connection for the kids to be picked up at 10:30 and my child #6 to pick up #3 and 4 at the carpool spot and then get us from the auto shop to which we will be towed.
10:20 pm--Tow truck arrives
10:40 pm--We pass the event where the kids are supposedly finished
11:00 pm--We pass the meeting spot where we see #6 parked and waiting
11:05 pm--Mom who arranged the pick up of the kids calls me to say her son got there, picked up his sister and was told he didn't need to get anyone else, and he left the other 5 there, and was that right? NO, GO GET THE OTHER 5 KIDS, please.
11:07 pm--Child #3 calls, "Mom did you forget us?" Explain the situation. Ride is on the way.
11:10 pm--The mom calls to say the son was only 5 minutes away and is turning back.
11:12 pm--I call the number from which Child #3 called to deliver the message that the ride should be there any minute--shows up while we're talking.
11:15 pm--Call child #6 and tell him to come pick us up at the auto shop.
11:35 pm--Leave the auto shop and head back to the carpool meeting spot.
11:45 pm--Car full of happy kids arrives but one is missing a parent to pick him up. "S___, is your mom coming?" "Oh, I guess I should call her."
11:50 pm--Confirm that S___'s mother is coming and leave him with the carpool driver.
12:15 am--Head hits the pillow with a loud sigh.

Sighhhhhhh!

A quarter century of change

2011-04-04T08:51:00.006-05:00

There it is, the remains of the last glass of a set that we bought with our wedding gift money twenty-seven years ago. Gabe knocked it off the table.

I went back to my wedding album to see if the glasses were a gift or if they'd been purchased by us with the gift money. In light of the five rather recent weddings of my own children it was fun to look through the way it was for us.

We had a small wedding, fewer than 80 guests. We received $295 in cash (on our college student budget that was half a month's living expenses). We didn't need to purchase dishes, cutlery, knives, cookbooks, bakeware, pots and pans, or any other kitchen items (except glasses). We received 3 sheet sets, two towel sets, and several wedding memory items (figurine, picture frame, cross stitch).

We only received one very strange, probably a re-gift, gift. It came from someone I didn't know at the time and is still a name I don't recognize so I think I'm safe to mention it without the offended party reading up about it here.

It was an electric hot dog cooker. I tend to try to find a use for anything and everything, but that one baffled me. I never found cooking hotdogs--open fire, boiling water, broiler, microwave--to be a challenge worthy of its own appliance. I try to imagine the market strategy for such a gadget--"Tired of waiting around for your hot dogs to cook? Tired of not knowing if they're done? You can now cook every hot dog to perfection! No timing! No checking! Just set the cooker and wait for the bell." We passed off the hot dog cooker as a gag gift to Keith's roommate when he got married...I sure hope we gave him more than just that, but I don't remember.

That one broken butterfly glass opened a bag of memories that seemed so recent, but upon closer inspection were actually an awful long time ago. The saying must hold that time flies when you're having fun.

I Eat My Words

2011-04-01T08:57:00.005-05:00

My boys were dreaming out loud. They were painting a mental image of their idea of a perfect living room. It had an entire wall devoted to media and electronics. I went along with it, tongue in cheek. "Sounds good, in fact, we could just do it now. Get a flat screen TV and mount it on the fireplace, front and center." They shared my suggestion with their father.

I am so outnumbered.

Winter Farewell

2011-03-30T15:25:00.022-05:00

Despite our mid-March 15-inch snow storm last week winter is coming to a close--even up north. Lisa was determined to make a snowman and I was sure the spring snow would be the good, heavy, packing kind. Sadly for her, thankfully for the shovelers, it was not. Undeterred, Lisa piled the snow and made a mounded snowman anyway!

The bright, warm days have sent this snowman back to where all good snowmen go. Poor fellow knows the end is near.

Now we have Troy and Shane in the gym practicing with the baseball team, and the next three signed up for their summer seasons. So, as a farewell to winter I am posting some of my favorite winter photos from the past 2 months.

In early February we headed to Michigan Tech to see the ice scuptures. Here's our tour group, complete with Ariadna of Bolivia getting in on some northern culture.

We enjoy the sculptures as well as the opportunity to see Chet and Priscilla

Maybe if our toilet was this big Gabe would show a little more interest

This year's theme centered around anything to do with books

The Narnia Beaver--my favorite of the day

After taking in the sculptures we drove to a park on Lake Superior so Ariadna could see the largest of our Great Lakes. It proved to be an experience that everyone enjoyed. The lake was frozen in great mounds and drifts, looking as if it had frozen in waves. Just weeks later we read the book Shipwrecked at the Bottom of the World, the story of Earnest Shackleton. He and his crew spent over a year trapped in ice in the Antarctic. We had a better understanding of their conditions because of our trek out onto the Lake Superior ice. It would have been hard to imagine lake ice not being relatively flat had we not been there to see it for ourselves.

Still not too big for a ride on 'Nina'

Who wants to play on a frozen lake when there are swings!?

FINALLY, we didn't just drive by the park! Gabe thinks parks should be a year-round activity. Maybe he's right.

There were spots on the lake that were blown clear of snow. The ice was perfectly smooth and clear. Lisa is getting ready for a push across the clearing.

Gabe finally decided he wanted to get in on some slipping and sliding on the ice

Here is the scene in our driveway following the 15-inch snowfall. Depending on one's perspective they could have said we got "A dusting" or "4 feet".

This was the view when we walked out our back door. Troy is digging away trying to clear an opening big enough for the van to get out. We didn't see a need to completely remove the pile since the temperatures are supposed to reach 50 in a week. You can see the bare spot in the foreground--"blowing and drifting" is amazing.

Lisa found a bare spot between the driveway pile and the walkway where Owen was shoveling. I think everyone wondered why the drifts couldn't have piled up in the yard and not on drive and walkways.

Owen did his best to open a narrow (emphasis on narrow) path to the front door. I'm not sure if it would have been better to have an even 15 inches to shovel down the entire walk, or if the clear, blown sections were a welcome respite after plowing through the 2-3 foot drifts.

You can see the bare ground and sidewalk where the saucer is sitting next to the drift along the house. As I was typing this I heard a thunderous sound out the front door. Sure enough, the snow on the metal roof melted enough to all come crashing down, covering the sidewalk again! The "best" part is when it melts and leaks into my laundry room...

Good-bye Winter, here's to you!

Sneak Peek

2011-03-28T08:16:00.006-05:00

A few days ago I ran across a new blog that was recently started by my good friend, and author, Mary Silverberg.

I started by reading her blog post dated Saturday, March 26. There was no introduction to the untitled post, it just began with a quote. (I just discovered that there is a title, but it's in the same color as the background so can't be seen--I'll have to tell Mary.)

About half way through the quote I thought, "I think I've read this before". I read another line and it dawned on me that I'd not only read it but I had written it! It wasn't until I was almost to the last line that I even remembered how the quote ended. (Note: I read it on my phone so was not about to see the entire page with my name at the bottom.)

How fun to read my own writing from unbiased eyes, and be so surprised by it.

The quote was taken from the section that I wrote for a book that Mary has put together about raising children with special needs. I am one of ten women who contributed to the book.

You can read it here if you like. (I'll post more information when the book is published.)

Modesty

2011-03-25T08:10:00.003-05:00

Perhaps the best compliment given to a Christian girl by a teenage boy: overheard in a high school hallway.

"She's hot but she doesn't show it."

Blessings

2011-03-24T08:52:00.004-05:00

Laura Story sings the tale of our hearts when they break, and remind us of the comfort ahead, knowing that this is not our home.

What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

Of course, right now this makes me think of the loss of a child--Joey and Jamie, Chet and Priscilla, Marty and Kelly. But maybe it's for you, too.

Thank you resolved2worship for sharing this.

Happy Birthday to Yous

2011-03-23T15:33:00.011-05:00

Grammatically incorrect, I know. However, some Northwoodsers actually say "yous" (pronounced so it rhymes with 'loose') when they mean "you--plural". It's the northern version of "y'all", which southerners use to refer to "you--plural", and some for "you--singular", as well. This leads some folks to pluralize "you" by saying "all y'all" (you know who you are!). It's really so easy people, just say "you"!

All of this has absolutely nothing to do with Happy Birthday.

But Happy Birthday it is, to my mom who would have been 72.

Since I can't celebrate with her I'm going to celebrate with you by posting birthday pictures from the celebrations of my two youngest who both had birthdays in the last month.

Lisa turned 9 one month ago. She, like Bryce in his younger days, sees her birthday as a national holiday. I think she's surprised when she heads to the greeting card department in February and doesn't see a card that is pre-printed with "Happy Birthday Lisa"!

Lisa came to me about 7 weeks before her birthday with a list. On that list were the names of close to 20 children, an itinerary, and a menu. I've told her before that if she wants to do something special she has to plan, and plan she did. Her big brown eyes looked at me with expectation and pleading. She knew she was pushing the envelope with this one. Her party was to begin mid-morning and stretch until early evening and she had created 2 columns to list all of the guests.

How could I say no? She planned it all and gave me ample time to prepare. I sat down with her and pared down the list, keeping it to children within 2 years of her age and 10 miles of our home, and limiting the time to 3 hours. She hand-made and delivered all of the invitations.

We ended up with a delightful group of 16 children added to my own 4 (Bryce skipped out on the photo) who are at home on a school day. (I just love how the two on the right end are holding hands, they're brother and sister.)

They did exactly what Lisa wanted to do. They played on the slide--an absolute indoors-on-a-cold-day-lifesaver when there are young children around!

They played hide-and-seek all through the house. They played with a bag of balloons.

They opened gifts and ate cake.

They went outside and played with the kittens, and played in the snow, and played Fox and Geese.

I didn't spend hours thinking up and preparing elaborate birthday games. I didn't have to think of anything, Lisa did it. They did what kids like to do, they played. They had a wonderful time just playing. They were happy and cooperative and well-behaved and loud and giggly and energetic. It couldn't have been any more perfect!

Two weeks later our "baby" Gabe turned 5! This is the last year of holding up one hand to show someone how old he is. It's the first year he hasn't had to work to get the proper number of fingers to cooperate with the effort!

Poor Gabe was getting over a bout with the flu and had a terrible cold on his birthday!
I haven't posted a Gabe's Milestones post in quite awhile. So this is it.
Gabe has learned to pedal a big wheel.
He recognizes all of his numbers and can consistently count objects up to five.
He recognizes about 90% of his letters.
He knows entire songs and can sing several of them all the way through--although he mumbles them terribly.
He uses 4-5 word sentences sometimes but will use as few words as necessary, ie. "want juice".
He can pray before a meal, "God, thank you for food, amen."
He's graduated from knob-type single piece puzzles and just loves jigsaw puzzles. He's getting fairly proficient at a 16 piece block puzzles that makes 6 different pictures. He loves turning the blocks to find the correct picture for the animal we're putting together.
He has an opinion!
He still likes to run but returns when instructed rather than having to always be chased--yeah!!
He likes to push babies over--ugh.
He's learned to operate a sing-a-long microphone and recorder and can record himself and play it back.
He LOVES Elmo.
Finally, my favorite recent exchange with Gabe came a few weeks ago when I'd just mopped the floor. He walked into the room and I asked him, "How does it look?"
He surveyed the room and, nodding, said, "Pretty nice."

154 Days

2011-03-22T11:15:00.005-05:00

Her life was measured in days, but there is no way to measure the impact she had on those who love her. We said good-bye to Kaylee Hope on Saturday.
Joey has posted about the final days, the emotions, and the memorial service on his blog. (See the right side bar for posts.) He mentioned that he feared for normalcy because that might be a sign that Kaylee Hope has been forgotten. But, her value, and the impact she had on the lives of her family is not dependent on the memory of others. We all move on. We have to move on.

My mom's 72nd birthday is tomorrow. The 9th anniversary of her death is this Sunday. I don't think of her every day any more. My children bring her to mind less often than I do. That doesn't mean she's forgotten.

It is true that people live on in the hearts of others. Not in some tangible, physical, mystic sense of indwelling another's body with their spirit. But our time with them helps to shape those left behind. In a parent/child relationship the effects can be monumental. There are mannerisms, speech patterns, opinions, and even fundamental personality traits that can be directly traced back from child to parent. There are flowing rivers of love and emotion in a parent that are brought out by a child.

The loss of one so loved leaves a very deep impression on the one left. The pain, the trial, the journey, is part of the fertilizer used to nourish our souls and shape our characters. God uses the pain of the trial to nourish and bring forth good.

I can't help but think of our compost pile. We throw in the "trial", the produce peels and skins, the spoiled leftovers, the rotten leaves and yard waste, and in time we have a nutritious mulch that pours life into our plants and help produce strength and beauty. I certainly don't think about bananas, fresh lettuce, and beautiful fall leaves when I see a blooming azalea, but they are there.

If I don't think about the elements that went into compost all of the time I can be certain that my children and neighbors never think of it. That doesn't diminish the impact of the fertilizer.

The same can be true with losing a loved one. God uses the painful experiences to produce strength and beauty in us. There is tremendous value in that, and that value is not measured by the memories of others. The value is in our own memories and the fruit produced by the trial.

I prayed a strange but very honest prayer last fall. I asked God to stop sending trials my way. I reasoned that, while trials produce patience and patience works to bring us to 'perfection', I didn't really want to become more patient. I asked God to consider where I was with my present level of patience and earthly perfection and see if He could just leave things as they were and consider it "good enough".

I really meant that prayer. I really wanted to be done, forever, with trials and learning patience. God said no. So, I humbly submit to His all-knowing wisdom and goodness and accept the trials.

I know we need them, and they're just part of life, but I wouldn't be a normal parent if I didn't wish that I could pass on the learning of my life's trials to my children so that they could grow without going through them.

But I can't. So I'll also trust that God will uphold them and strengthen them just as He has me through my time. And I'll try to use what I've learned to help hold them, in my arms or my my heart, through what they have to go through.

Official Time Out

2011-03-17T09:13:00.004-05:00

All things being basketball right now, that is the best way to put it--Official Time Out. That's when the official in basketball calls a time out for his own purposes. It is not charged to either team, but play stops for reasons that need only be justified by the official.

I need one of those. I need to stop and have a time out. I have a number of things I want to blog, pictures to post, projects to start/work on/complete, etc, etc, etc. In the past three weeks I've overseen the celebration of 3 birthdays here, had 2 parties with 20 or more people at each, loved on my grandson for 10 days, planned for and taught a literature class, met with the Community Education Director to help with upcoming plans and discuss how they effect homeschoolers, begun preparation for three seminars to be led at the upcoming homeschool convention, cared for three boys who had the flu (at the same time), and kept up with the everyday lives of our crew. Keith and my 27th anniversary was yesterday--we had a day so full of our regular responsibilities that the best we could do was to get in a game of Trivial Pursuit between 10 and 11 PM (I won--not that I needed to add that, but I did--pink and brown get him every time).

I would like all teams involved to sit on the bench, get a drink, and let me just do my own thing. Can I please have the full time out? That would give me a whole minute!

Thank you.

PS I am not forgetting that just 2 months ago I had a whole week off. I am not complaining or whining. Really. I just want a minute.

Basketball--four more

2011-03-07T15:27:00.020-06:00

Troy was not our only basketball player this winter. Everyone played but Gabe and he put in his time on the nerf basketball set at home as well as in the stands cheering on his siblings. His favorite chant was "Air Ball, Air Ball!" and he knew when to use it, even at home.

This basketball season was a step up for Shane who went from being an under-6-foot-2-inch JV player to being an over-6-foot-4-inch Varsity player. Foot/ankle injuries early and late in the season led to him missing about six games. It was certainly a frustration, but he's not the first player to be sidelined with injuries and being part of a team certainly doesn't always mean playing center stage.

Shane's first varsity year was met with a new coach and the boys, as much as they liked their previous coach, enjoyed playing under Coach Lemmens.

White Brother Sandwich.

Bryce and Owen played together on the homeschool co-ed junior high team. It looks like Bryce inherited the 'kangaroo gene'.

Owen really should have been on the 3-5th grade team with Lisa, but he was just too big for that group and would have dominated them...and probably hurt someone. Owen, a fifth grader, was with his older brothers this week and their coach (a fifth grade teacher) asked Owen, "What grade are you in, 8th?"

I enjoyed watching this brother-pair play together this year. Their age gaps prevents them from being teammates very often, but they have always been good buddies and love to be together--an all too rare testimony of brothers.

This was Lisa's first year playing basketball and she was nervous! She has not been glued to the game since her diaper days like some others in our house, but she was very enthusiastic and wanted to learn.

Here is her classic traffic-sign-stance from her first game.

Hair in place--check.

Thanks for the entertainment guys!

Basketball--Senior year--Life lessons

2011-03-05T14:28:00.033-06:00

Another Wisconsin White Winter means basketball. This year we had 5 children playing on 3 teams. I have pictures of everyone that I've been waiting to post during the month of March Madness. I'll post the younger four later but want to highlight Troy in his senior season with this post. Not all of the comments are about Troy, but I'm using his pictures.

March Madness: If you'd have asked me 30 years ago what I thought "March Madness" meant I'd have probably made a guess that had something to do with Lewis Carroll or some similar sort of children's literature.

I've been educated and now know that March means basketball tournaments, all month long. Owen just said a month or so ago, "I hope I get sick in March so I can lay on the couch and watch basketball all day." This morning Bryce and Owen both woke up with fevers, and spent all day lying on couches, watching college basketball much of the time. As amazing as it seems that he got his wish, he actually missed his goal by a few weeks. True, college basketball is on all day today, and Owen's enjoyed watching it between naps; but the real deal doesn't start until March 17--St. Patrick's Day--Vince's first birthday, the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. I think that tournament ranks second only to Christmas for event-to-look-forward-to in our house. And I'd never even heard of it.

Although I really do enjoy keeping up with the tournament, filling in my brackets, and listening to the boys laugh at my unlikely predictions I MUCH prefer watching my own children play on whatever team they play. I don't care if they win or lose, I don't really care about the level of talent, and I don't care about (or keep track of) the team record. I just like watching them because they're mine. I try hard to be a team fan, but the fact is, if my kid wasn't there I wouldn't be there either.

I don't find it agonizing to go to game after game watching loss after loss. I'm not disappointed with low scoring totals. I don't really care if my child plays the whole game or less than half the game. My greatest joy comes from watching them work hard, enjoy themselves, improve, and learn the invaluable lessons they learn by being put in intense situations that test their character in high-stress, emotional, public situations.

It is definitely enjoyable to watch my children make three-point shots, steal the ball, block a shot of someone bigger than themselves, sink free throws, or lead the team in rebounds.

But when I think of personal highlights for me there are two things that stand out.

Fisrt of all, I love seeing my children have the opportunity to play together. As much as you try to get them to work together at home, they tend to be against each other in any type of sibling games or competition. If it's one on one, they're opposed. If they make teams the two oldest head the teams and they're opposed. This year, for Troy(44) and Shane (14), they got to be teammates, and I loved it.

(Look close and you'll see that Troy and Shane's faces are the only two that are visible here--Troy, center left under the arms; Shane, center right over the arms.)

The second thing I love is seeing them learn and improve in their ball playing skills and in their behavior and personal fortitude. Seeing Lisa go from literally standing stock still like a traffic guard with arms outstretched in her first game to dribbling the ball and putting up her first shot in her last game was a delight. Her smile beamed for a full minute after she shot the ball, and she didn't even make the shot! Another high moment was seeing Troy foul out of a game (following a couple of very questionable foul calls), then calmly take his place on the bench and cheer his team on.
Clean block followed by a called foul.

There were some behavioral low moments, as well, much lower than finishing a game with substandard stastics. Those moments weren't wasted however. Good can come from being exposed and vulnerable.

I don't think people realize how hard it is to be in the public eye, under scrutiny, during trying times. Every movement, grimace, eye-roll, or shake of the head is watched by a crowd. When the media is there, it's also a matter of public record.

As public as the trials were, and as much as they gave plenty of people reason to make judgments and engage in easy conversations about the lack of character/sportsmanship/integrity they witnessed, they had value.

The value came from talking about the situation after the incident, challenging them on what God's word says about dealing with such a situation, questioning them on ways they could have handled it better, or how they would feel seeing someone else act like they had acted, or hearing someone say what they had said. They had the opportunity to fail publicly and see the result of their 'self' shining through for all to see, including seeing it themselves. They benefited from the backlash they got from family or friends by being put face to face with their shortcomings. We all have shortcomings and flaws, but we aren't all tested (especially publicly) in a way that lets us see what we're made of. It's true that, "The heart is deceitful above all things...who can know it?" We deceive ourselves and don't even know it, often. Failing, or just messing up, helps open our eyes, helps us see the need for change, and helps us look Godward for that change. Being tested and seeing yourself fail pushes you to stand firm the next time.

The joy of rising above the challenge and coming out on top the next time is well worth the failure.
(#45 was 6'9" tall and won the conference Player of the Year award. It was no easy thing getting shots past him.)

Because of all the good that can come from it, I can take the public criticism and deal with the negative comments and opinions. It never feels good to hear bad things said about your child, but my goal is not that they portray perfection so I can look good. My goal is that they would be growing in Christ, and if that comes at the expense of the good opinions of others while God tries them, so be it.

Last Tuesday, all of our teams had their last game. The seasons are finished and schedule-weary parents are ready for a break...until baseball season.

Purple for Kaylee Hope

2011-02-25T09:49:00.005-06:00

Joey and Jamie called yesterday to let me know that the preliminary tests results are in and they do have a little girl who is missing a chromosome--Turners Syndrome. Joey posted about their daughter, her name, her favorite things, making as many connections to her beautiful personness as possible in whatever time they will have with her. You can read his tender words here.

From now until Kaylee Hope's birth, or her death, whichever comes first, my blog will be purple and I am going to wear something purple. It will be my constant reminder to pray for her. I don't really think I need a reminder, I don't think I could make myself stop, but I want an outward expression of the reminder. I want a visible sign that I am cheering for her and loving her and her parents and brother and sister. I figured that if she's a girl who likes the smell of lavendar, the feeling of being twirled around in the air, and the taste of RMCF carmel apple then she would definitely prefer purple over 'sackcloth and ashes'.

Anniversaries--so different, so alike

2011-02-24T08:03:00.003-06:00

Nine years ago one of my dearest friends, Paula, died after a 2-year battle with cancer. She left four devastated children and a grieving husband.

Four years ago today my firstborn son, Joey, married the love of his life, Jamie.

So different.

Today, these two anniversaries come together and form a stong connection in my heart.

When I think of Paula and her ordeal with cancer I think of the day she called me to tell me she was dying. She gave me all of the details, drawing out the events of the past months and the search for medical answers until she came to the horrible conclusion. She had cancer, everywhere. She had it in her ribs, her spine, her pelvis, and her brain. There was no escaping its invasion, only efforts to delay its final victory, trying to buy time with and for her family.

The day she called me was clear and sunny but it suddenly looked bleak, physically dark and bleak. I could see the sun and the blue sky with my eyes, but not with my heart. My mind and my stomach just stood still--one thought, no appetite. All I could think about was my friend, and her life ending, and leaving her children. I walked through my day in a fog, going through the motions, doing what had to be done but my mind was only on Paula. I specifically remember walking through the Shopko parking lot and seeing people talking, laughing, and going about their day. I remember thinking how very strange it was that the world was going on as if nothing was wrong, as if Paula wasn't dying. I didn't feel like a part of the world.

This year, on this day, my mind is in the same surreal state. The days are going on and the activities buzz and my children laugh and ask me questions. I do what I need to do--cook, clean, teach, get to appointments--writing out lists to keep me focused and on task. But my mind is with Joey and Jamie. I am in continual prayer. All of my thoughts hold of piece of them. So much is known, but so much is unknown. My faith feels large, all of it is God's gift, lifting up my spirit as well as my prayers. I keep thinking, "Faith is the presence of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." So much is not seen, and so much is hoped for.

Joey said in his blog post today that they have a name picked for their baby which they will reveal today when they learn if she is indeed a girl. I am looking forward to putting a name to all of this love and hope.

Praying for Miss Beautiful

2011-02-23T08:25:00.003-06:00

Last year our family experienced great joy as we were blessed with four grandchildren, the beginning of a new generation. They are loved, adored, and treasured.

Last year we also experienced sorrow as we mourned two grandchildren who did not live long enough to be held or breathe their first breath.

Yesterday we learned that another grandchild, due in July, is not expected to survive. Joey and Jamie just celebrated their twins' first birthday and they are now thrown into a chaos of grief and turmoil and disbelief and sadness.

There are more questions than answers but what we do know can be found in Joey's blog post this morning, I Love You, Thadwick.

Please join me in encompassing them in prayer.

My day off

2011-02-18T11:07:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I had a rare opportunity. Keith took Bryce, Owen, and Lisa skiing for the day and I was homeschool-free. It was just me and Gabe. Troy and Shane would be in school and at basketball practice. I had visions of extreme productivity. It was going to be like a day off!

I had two goals. One, catch up a little on cleaning around the house--just a little. Second, make some headway on a scrapbooking project.

Maybe I shouldn't have thrown "crack down on toilet training with Gabe" into the mix, but I did. It didn't take much time, but it was on my mind all day--do you have to go? do you have to go now? how about now?

I decided I better take our weekly trip to library story time with Mr. Tom. It also doubles as my time to check out the books for the next school week and I didn't know when I'd get that done with two birthdays and a kid party to orchestrate in the next 5 days. I got the books and Gabe enjoyed his time. When asked by his brothers last night who he saw at the library he answered, "Mr. Tom"! I don't think Gabe has ever accurately answered a "who" question in that context (meaning something other than "who is that") correctly.

At lunch time Troy came home for a quick 20 minutes to try to consume 2,000 nutritious calories. In between bites I got updates on his day and plans for the evening.

I got thrown a bit of a curve ball in the form of a doctor appointment to have Shane's sprained ankle worked on. Ninety minutes gone. But not wasted, it's part of loving and caring for my boy. We drove together, talked together, laughed, and made medical progress with his ankle.

While I was out, and after dropping Shane back at school, it only made sense to stop at the store for just a couple items on my list and, oh yes, Keith's birthday cake for Saturday had to be made Friday so I had to get those ingredients, too. No potty training during the out and about, I'm not that crazy.

Home again, a simple early supper for the four of us, cleaned up the dishes, put away groceries, finished cleaning off and organizing the counter to get the scrapbooking going.

Got a text, surprise, the skiers are almost home and boy are they HUNGRY! Somehow they forgot to tell me that "all day" meant 3/4 of the day. Back to the kitchen...

I had such high hopes. Neither one of my goals was met, not even touched in fact. I'm not sure if they were unrealistic to begin with or just got rolled over by family life. I think it was the latter.

I wanted to be frustrated, but I really couldn't. And I knew it wouldn't change anything. The day was just what it needed to be. As a mom, it doesn't matter if you have 4 kids or 6 kids or just 1 kid at home. It really is a full time job.

Kauai, Hawaii in pictures

2011-02-15T09:01:00.006-06:00

Sorry to my kids who've been looking for these for a few weeks. I'm sacrificing to get them done now, but don't see another way. I'll have to have coffee for breakfast.

We returned from our wonderful week-long respite a full 3 weeks ago now. I came home so relaxed and refreshed that I seemed to just float in la-la land for a couple of days. Then bam. Life found me again. I was laid flat by the flu for two days and needed two more to get back on my feet. A few others joined the sick club, basketball games were on the calendar, field trips were scheduled, school had to get done, meals, laundry, cleaning, real life for sure.

But I still feel the effects of our week away. I smile when I think of how simple it all was. If we wanted to go somewhere at 8, we did. Just like that, we just left. When we put something down, it stayed put. When we cleaned something up, it stayed cleaned. When I washed the dishes (notice I didn't say 'we' this time) they stayed washed. It was surreal. It was so easy. It was utterly relaxing. It was a wonderful break. But I don't want to move and I don't want to retire just yet. Breaks are good, but living the crazy, busy, scattered life that I do is better in the more permanent sense. And getting away makes that clearer. The love and appreciation I have for my family and home is always keener after a step back and time of reflection.

The very best part, of course, was being with Keith and not having anything to think about but being with him. We could do everything together all the time, and with the exception of a .3 mile spur on a 9-mile hike (I passed), we did.

Kauai is called the Garden Island for good reason and the pictures pretty much speak for themselves, so I'll keep the text to a minimum and let the pictures do the talking.

Keith is a marvelous trip planner and researched some spectacular hikes. We logged over 20 miles in our six days. Warning signs were abundant, we are not faint-hearted hikers.

My "tow rope" when the uphill switchbacks got to be a bit too much.

We did not leave feeling cheated out of relaxation.

Loved the trees

Loved the sunsets

Some typical tourist activities:
Visited the falls best known as the "Fantasy Island" falls. Tattoo points over them and says, "Boss, da plane, da plane!"

Historic walk through Waimea, the landing spot of James Cook, with 80-year-old native guide Aletha--a wealth of information, she had a fantastic memory and shared all we wanted to hear. What a treat to get a personal account of her memory of the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the pre and post-statehood days of Hawaii.

The Grand Canyon of the Pacific, Waimea Canyon

A luau

We also saw whales, dolphins, seals, and turtles, birds and birds, and too many chickens. We took a boat trip, snorkeled, shopped at the open markets for local produce, and visited the largest coffee plantation in the US. We hiked like we were young and played shuffleboard like we were old.

But best of all, we added to a precious pool of memories of enjoying being together.

Where?

2011-02-11T09:00:00.001-06:00

I was in the van with Gabe yesterday when he said to me: Want glasses.

I said: You're the one who lost them. Where did you put them?

Clear as a bell he replied: In a hot air balloon.

Round 2 with the Preschooler

2011-02-09T13:43:00.005-06:00

I guess the mess made this morning wasn't enough. During lunch my trouble maker, Gabe, dropped/threw his bowl of tomato soup on the floor. Perhaps he just needs more of an outlet for artistic expression and design and only wanted to enjoy the rather interesting pattern made by the bowl, soup, and sandwich pieces. In any case, the clean-up procedure was the same as with the syrup, only without the change of clothes.

They say that little ones grow up too fast and one day they'll be gone and I'll be wishing they were little again. I think I'm going to agree with one of my mother-in-law's favorite sayings,

'They say' are the biggest liars there ever were.

Preschool Percussion

2011-02-09T07:57:00.004-06:00

FYI--If you hear your preschool son making an innocent tapping noise, check it out.

What you do not want to find is the preschooler straddling a dining room chair and tapping an inverted, full bottle of maple syrup into his lap.

The bad news--I had a full 12-ounce puddle dripping from shirt to pants to socks to chair to floor to clean up.

The good news--the work we've been putting into music training is paying off; the tapping was done in a nice, steady, rhythmical beat.

"Sick" Humor

2011-02-04T08:05:00.005-06:00

Very recently, as I was laid low from the flu, one of my wise-guy-kids just couldn't resist a little joke.

I'd been flat in bed for a straight 36 hours (with just 24 more to go) and I woke up to see a fresh glass of crushed ice by my bedside--awww.

Taking a closer look I noticed the secoond "gift".

Nothing cheers you up like a distressed GI Joe!

I wasn't so sick I couldn't appreciate it (only so sick I couldn't move or eat). Later, one of my boys came in to visit for awhile and I mentioned that if nothing else this was a good sidekick to my fitness/diet plan. He said (seriously) I should spend more time on the Wii Fit. I told him I thought I would just stick to the Wii Sick--what could be easier, do nothing lose eight pounds!

I love winter!

2011-01-16T14:32:00.019-06:00

I do, I really do LOVE it! I don't necessarily like going out in it too much. I get cold and impatient with the bundling--moreso with the thinking about it though than the actual doing it; but, not so much that I dislike the season. It is so beautiful and happy. I went through scrapbooks a few weeks ago looking for outdoor winter pictures to go in a snowman frame I have and the best pictures I had were 20 years old! I don't get out in the snow with the camera too often (OK, I don't get out in the snow too often period). However, my days/excuses of staying in with a baby are over. And my days of going out with the baby/toddler and needing hands for the little one rather than manning a camera are over. So, when I sent the boys out to shovel last week I followed them.

I came in a few minutes before they did in order to have this on the table when they followed. Everyone enjoys it, of course, but Lisa spoke for them all when she said, "I just LOVE it when you have snacks all ready for us like this!" Of course they do, so why don't I do it more often?!

Class of 2028

2011-01-16T13:06:00.014-06:00

It's funny to think now that Granddad and Nana's 2010 Club will one day (Lord willing) be a graduating class. A few weeks ago we finally had all four of them together in one place, awake, and fed to take a group photo. Hopefully, we'll have the opportunity to take another before graduation.
Carson--mischievous, active, giggly, and sometimes tempermental; but able to steal any heart with those eyes! Carson gets/has to be the kingpin anchoring both sides of his families as the oldest grandchild.

Keira--Keira comes with an adjective, she's "sweet". Just sweet, sweet, sweet. Although she sure looks like her mommy, Jamie tells stories of her own childhood that don't quite exemplify 'sweet'. Maybe she only heard the 'fun' stories we moms like to tell, or maybe Keira will have her day!

Vince--so much like his daddy it's scary. Holding him, feeding him, interacting with him is all dejavu. He's already a thinker, studier, and planner. Like Carson, he knows how to work those eyes!

Missa Karissa--the "baby" of the bunch. Happy, sweet, and charming. She is the first of all of our children and grandchildren to look somewhat like my baby pictures.

Nostalgia

2011-01-07T14:27:00.002-06:00

You know those memories and things that stick in your mind you have from years ago and you don't know how they got there? (I realize that's not even a real sentence but I'm leaving it.) Well, I've had a favorite "catchy-tune-childhood-song" that's been running through my mind on and off now for...ever it seems. I decided to run a quick search and see if I could find it.

I did. Richard Dreyfuss singing "Hey Little Goldfish" from the 1969 film "Hello Down There". I must have been about 10 when I saw it as a Saturday movie on TV with my best friend Linda. We sang the chorus over and over until our families couldn't stand it! (I now can sympathize with the families!)

I enjoyed the musical memory, but at this stage in life what was just as entertaining was Tony Randall's (the dad's) comment to Janet Leigh (the mom)!

Reality Check...

2011-01-05T08:38:00.002-06:00

...comes for me in the form of a conversation with my boys this morning.

Owen: I don't think I'll ever see you wearing shorts and a t-shirt in the winter (that's all this boy lives in).

Owen (afterthought): Or even in the summer!

Me: I wore shorts once (remembering the time last summer that I totally embarrassed the boys by coming into the library to get them after my pt appointment wearing shorts).

Owen: Oh yeah! It's OK, please don't wear shorts!!

Me: But, I do wear t-shirts in the summer.

Bryce: That's 'cause your arms are so comfortable. People just want to sleep on them.

If I hadn't truly absorbed the fact that I'm a grandmother before it's really hit home now!

Change of Heart

2011-01-02T17:56:00.003-06:00

I just posted a comment that made me think I should really put it out here as a post. A few weeks ago I wrote about my Aunt Susie "requesting" her cup of coffee first thing in the morning. It was a simple request, it was a polite request, and it was not a difficult request. Yet, everything in me grimaced at the thought of catering to her selfish desire to have things done her way, by me.

It was the perfect picture of what that entire week-and-a-half was for me. It was me seeing me full-face in the mirror and getting a view of my heart. It was me hearing me as I tell my children to love one another, even if they seem unlovable. It was me having to answer to me as I claim to desire to love as Christ loves and profess a desire to live as Christ lived. He wrapped a towel around his waist, took up a basin, knelt before 12 men and washed their dirty feet, just hours before they abandoned him and he was led to his death. He even washed the feet of the one who betrayed him. And I grimaced about a cup of coffee.

It wasn't really the coffee that was a problem, it was the serving and the expectation of the one making the request. It was me not wanting to be controlled or perhaps lowered to that position. It's easy to get a cup of coffee when I want to do it. I can make a cup for my husband and hand it to him with all of my love along with it. But, I'm not really serving him if I'm just doing what I want when I want because I want. It's especially easy if doing something for him is a surprise or he hasn't requested it. I get the pleasure of seeing the appreciation on his face. I get the pleasure of his gratificaton. I am the benefactor.

But Christ called me to serve others for His sake, not for my sake. He told me to put my own needs aside and look to the needs of others. I realized over my ten days of trial that it won't always mean I do what is asked of me, but I will not refuse to do it out of spite or personal frustration. I got a lot of requests tossed my way--a really, really lot! I struggled with that. I knew immediately that I was dealing with a confrontation of my own nature and my heart. When frustration welled up in me I knew right away that there was no need for it and that my frustration stemmed from a lack of love. God called me to serve for his sake. If I'm frustrated with serving it is not really because I lack love for the one needing/asking to be served, but it is a lack of love for my Lord, because of an abundance of love for myself.

I found that I really was too full of myself to fully lay aside my needs--not just the need to sit down, have a minute to myself, get my own meal, etc., but my need to not be needed! I became overwhelmed with the neediness and demands for attention yet I never considered the great need I have that God satisfies every time I ask and seek for Him. He never turns me away, and He tells me to be like Him.

God doesn't always give me what I want or think I need. Part of His loving and serving me is leaving me to learn and grow through trials. In the same way, I don't always have to give when the one asking needs to learn to wait, do without, or do for themselves. But what got me was how hard it was for me to maintain a loving spirit and attitude. I realized that I rely too much on what I can do without seeking to be filled with Christ to get through each day and each moment--trial or not.

I heard a very brief snippet of a message on the radio yesterday. I didn't recognize the speaker but what he said really applied to me. He said that what comes out of us when we're under pressure is what is really in us. When our buttons are pushed and we react with anger, frustration, and bitterness it exposes a heart that's full of anger, frustration, and bitterness. A heart full of love, grace, and peace will, when tested and tried, come forth with love, grace, and peace.

I saw things in my heart that I didn't like and I'm thanking God for putting me in a situation that allowed me to see how much I am in constant need of a change of heart.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T07:00:00.003-06:00

I've never heard of another family whose Christmas tradition includes a talent show. But, for many years our extended family has gathered at Keith's sister's for a meal, goodies, and a talent show. I guess we're a bit odd. Here's Bryce and Ellen singing a rewritten version of Jingle Bells that we rewrote again and customized for Daniel and his truck.

Yes, Your Highness

2010-12-24T12:08:00.002-06:00

Aunt Susie is spending Christmas with us this year. Not just Christmas, but eleven full days and nights. Yesterday (day 5) she had this to say:

Umm, Cindy, at my group home they give me my coffee first thing in the morning. I would appreciate it if you would to the same.

Poop happens

2010-12-14T21:52:00.004-06:00

I had the following conversation with my 16-year-old last Saturday after leaving Gabe with the 13-year-old, who went out to shovel and left Gabe in the care of the 16-year-old (all quite acceptable to me).

Phone: Ring, Ring

Me: Hello?

Teen: Umm, where are you?

Me: At Dana's, painting.

Teen: When will you be home?

Me: Not for hours.

Teen: Gabe messed his pants and it's down to his knees and up his back and on his neck.

Me: Oh.

Teen: (after a long pause) What should I do?

Me: Clean him up and give him a bath.

Teen: How do I give him a bath?

Me: (thinking, "really? you're asking me this question? he's 4 years not 4 months.)
Umm, it's just like you taking a bath only you put him in the tub.

Teen: (very dejected) OK......bye.

The fact is, he didn't really need to know how to give a kid a bath. He was desparately trying to find a way to get out of a very unpleasant task and what he really meant was, "could you please come home and relieve me of this way too grown up responsibility?".

In the end, Gabe got clean. He was even pre-rinsed, the tub was filled and then emptied, filled again and Mr. Gabe was washed well.

So, there's something to put on the resume--able to bathe a head-to-toe-soiled four-year-old.

Next lesson--what to do with the soiled laundry of a four-year-old....

"When I Say I Do"

2010-12-02T15:24:00.001-06:00

I took a video with my camera so I could capture a bit of the wedding and Chet playing and singing. They caught me a little by surprise.