"Demolition Zone" or "Child-proof the house and keep the child safe? How about house-proof the child and keep the house safe?"

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This is what happened to the corner of a wall in our house today.



One of the boys was trying to catch a ball (that he had thrown) and he slid across the floor after it. He slid further than he expected and made the dent with his lower back. Thankfully, the wall is in worse shape than his back.

But it got me to reminiscing on other tokens of destruction brought upon us by our various progeny over the years. I grabbed my camera and began roaming through the house scouting out evidence left behind by the offspring. Come along and take the tour with me if you like. Joey & Jamie, Keith & Coley, and Ellen & Daniel: This is just a reminder of the fun you have to look forward to!

First stop, the kitchen. The damage to this wall was caused by a broom (handle) in the hands of an older teen who was running from a wasp (whose nest he was trying to knock outside from the oven vent).


I'm sure everyone's familiar with the look of toddler wall-graffiti.


Why keep it to just one room?


Bedrooms--Wallpaper is always risky and after 7 1/2 years this stuff is ready to be replaced. It would have made it five years in perfect condition except for the hamster damage done six months after the paper was put up.


The candle damage was pretty recent (I only let the adults burn candles....maybe I should limit that to 25 and older?).


Not learning from someone's mistake, another adult child took to melting window blinds.


Here's another melted, but now also broken, blind waiting to go out to the trash.


Down to the play room. OK, it's play room, meant for play. So, of course there should be nothing wrong with making a taped baseball strike zone target around an outlet. Never mind that the tape removes the wall panel's veneer and the outlet cover is completely destroyed. Someone was certainly hitting their target.


Paneling doesn't particularly appreciate being used as a bumper board for moving furniture.


Thermostats are not meant to be roughed up either.


I love hearing people comment on how easy life must be for me with all of the helpers. I admit, there is a good deal of potential energy stored in this place. Putting it into productive action takes seasoning, training, and oversite. Calling something "clean" can be somewhat interpretive. Here's the "clean" (it was marked as 'done' on the job chart) playroom. (Yes, it was redone, without being told--the 'cleaner' saw me photograph their handiwork.)


This closet caused the owner to lose all internet time for the week. It wouldn't be quite so bad if the doors were ever shut.


How hard could it be to roller paint a wall that's been trimmed, with an unfinished floor I thought I had this one in the bag. Guess the ceiling was closer than it appeared.


Not everyone will notice each of these things when they visit us. But, it doesn't stop there. The evidence extends outside our home and travels with us everywhere we go. The front grill and license plate situation were the result of combining a teen driver with a deer. The rear door came from the combination of a teen driver, a lead foot, an icy driveway, and a boat trailer.


Friends from out of town once stopped into a fast food place where we were eating to say 'hello'. They were driving through town and spotted the van so they stopped. They knew it was us, they said, because "we saw the license plate with the bungi cord, and if you'd backed in we'd have known it by the big dent in the back door!" There's a benefit...

I didn't photograph the taped "3 point line" that made an arc around the mini basketball hoop. I removed the duct tape, but the glue and whatever sticks to it remain. I couldn't photograph the hole in the ceiling (now repaired) where one of the boys satisfied his curiosity as he thought, "I wonder if I can touch the ceiling with my elbow?" .....he could. And the picture of the large spilled-super-glue-spot-on-the-dining-room-table didn't show up. It's been five years and that glue still holds, the only time I've ever seen super glue do what they claim it should do. I'm just glad nothing was stuck to it.

So, when you come in my house and you see this sign, you'll know I really mean it.


Note:
Thank you to Joey, Ellen, Chet, Dana, Shane, Bryce, Owen, Lisa, and Gabe for your contributions to the preceding material (with additional help from Fumiko, Mary, and a cousin).

An Extra Special Thanks to Keith and Troy for NOT contributing to the preceding material!

ADDED: First of all, Joey makes a good point in his comment, some of the evidence of Keith's contribution to the destruction of our personal property is no longer available.

Second, as I made me way to the bathroom to change Gabe this morning this caught my eye, I missed it yesterday.


You probably don't notice any problem with these self-portrait-profiles. Looking at them from the side tells a different story. It was the casualty of another ball-throwing incident.



So, without naming any names, I can only conclude that I have no one left to whom I can give "Extra Special Thanks" anymore. But really, thank you ALL of you, for all of the wonderful, fun, crazy memories that far exceed the cost of any earthly damage done.