My Favorite Sports Story Ever

In light of the negative attention that last week's basketball game received, and in honor of Gabe turning 10-years-old this week, I thought I would relive this great memory from football season 2014.

I am not so naive as to think that this is how athletic competitions should end all the time, that it never matters if you win or lose, and that we just need to make everyone feel good.  But I sure am glad that this select group of people on this one particular day came together to make Gabe's day, and in the process, left smiles on the faces of millions of people around the world.  The video shows Gabe (a then 8-year-old, being guided by his older brother, Owen (who was also on the court during the stall game last week) and then chased down by a great group of opposing players (from Mosinee) who just make this the best high school touchdown ever.

Happy Birthday Gabe!!

(I wish I could get the NFL video with commentator breakdown to show up as a full video, but I can't, so here is the link to their piece:
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-videos/0ap3000000415609/8-year-old-scores-inspirational-touchdown)

Or, you can see the original footage here:

Has Gabe changed my life?

Actually, the comment/question that my friend sent to me was this:

Gabe always looks so happy. Has he changed your life? I was just wondering.

It was such a simple statement, such a simple question. But it felt almost impossible to answer. Initially, I thought to myself (more like screamed),

"YES! Absolutely and in every way. In fact, change doesn't even begin to describe the enormity of the impact Gabe has had on my life."

Then I began to feel bad about my reaction, as if it implied negative things about Gabe and my life with him. As if only bad things change my life. So, I considered other things in my life and asked the same question. I realized that my answer to those things would be the same.

Has my life changed since I;

spent a year as an exchange student?
moved into my own apartment?
got married?
had my first child?

To every one of those I would also respond,

"YES! Absolutely and in every way."

Important life events don't just change a life, they redefine it. Things that don't change my life are, by their lack of impact, inconsequential--of no consequence. As for Gabe, as is true with each of my other children, he is not inconsequential. Therefore, my life has most certainly been significantly impacted by him.

So, I consider again,

"How has Gabe changed my life?"

What would probably be more accurate if I'm going to try to fully understand the intent of the question is,

"In what ways has Gabe, with Down syndrome, changed my life as compared to how my life was changed, in general, by my other children?"

And if parents of children with special needs are honest, they will admit that more changes occur in your life as a result of having a child with special needs versus having one without special needs.

I could complete the answer to that question by saying, "Yes, Gabe has changed my life just as each of my children has changed my life." But to do so wouldn't really be giving a complete and honest answer to the whole question.

So, Lynda, here is a real answer to your question. Because you were wondering.

Since the day you asked me that question I have intentionally considered what I would be doing differently if I didn't have Gabe. Here are some things I noticed.

*When I took my teenagers and their friends to the water park I would have brought a book, sat in the coffee shop, and enjoyed a quiet afternoon. Instead, I climbed over 1000 steps and went down outdoor water slides, indoor water slides, slides on tubes, slides on mats, single tubes, doubles tubes, racing tubes, and gratefully floated the lazy river with Gabe.

*When I drove to Bemidji with Lisa and Gabe to visit Shane I would have walked and talked with Lisa and Shane. Instead, I walked and talked with Lisa and Shane AND met every dog on the paths at Lake Itasca, played frisbee, walked around a restaurant finding all of the unique cartoon character cookie jars, and slept on the floor in front of the door to our hotel room so I could prevent Gabe from playing on the elevator at 4:30 am (again).

*When I went to Owen's baseball game I would have sat in the stands and watched Owen play. Instead, I stood and watched him while I played catch with Gabe.

*When the grandchildren came to the house they would have moaned about being bored with the old people. Instead, they couldn't wait to come and play with Gabe.

*When I did the laundry I would have done it alone. Instead, Gabe pulled the things out of the dryer and tried to guess who they belonged to. I would not have laughed so much as I folded clothes.

*When I walked to the car from the rest area toilets I would have walked. Instead, I raced.

*When I came home from my future daughter-in-law's bridal shower I would have put down my things and gone about my business. Instead, I was greeted with a huge hug and, "You're home! Oh, I missed you! I missed you so much!" followed by another hug.

Gabe does look happy a lot. He is happy a lot, but not as much as he looks because I usually post pictures of him smiling. He can make my day and cheer us all up.

But some of the changes are hard. Gabe has had more health problems than my other children. His education requires more teamwork and research. He has been slower to communicate and it can be hard to know when he is being defiant or when he doesn't understand (and there is a lot of both). He is still not consistently toilet trained. He is not always aware of danger and doesn't articulate when he does understand so I struggle with how much freedom to give him.

But, even the hard things have produced some positive results. His health and education trials have opened doors to relationships I never would have made. His slow communication has made me more patient and observant. And the toilet training trials that have brought me to some of my lowest lows have brought me to a deeper, richer knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It's hard to imagine that it took dirty diapers to break me down and more fully open my heart and mind to God, proving that His ways are definitely not my ways!

The fact is, the trials that I have gone through with Gabe have brought about some of the richest and most gratifying changes of all. I have sought God in ways that I never did before. I have dug deeper into His word and striven more diligently to absorb and understand it than I ever have. In many ways, I was too capable and able to handle things and keep things under control. Gabe helped me to be more fallible.

I know that the things that 'pull the rug out from under me' are the ones that leave me lying on my back and looking up to God. Gabe can pull the rug out, and that gift is immeasurable.

Gabe's Football Debut

Gabe has had the joy of being the high school football JV2 team's honorary captain and sideline entertainment for the past month. Tonight, Coach Apfel suited him up in his own jersey, helmet, and pads and let him field a kick-off. The official game had ended, and even though it was the last game of the season and the Hodags finished with a tough loss, the boys all eagerly took the field to give Gabe a chance to run the ball.

The opposing team (Mosinee) wasn't even sure what was going on when they saw the Hodags back on the field. Their coach yelled, "Run the kick off and don't tackle him!" They did just what their coach said to do and when they realized what was going on they really got into the spirit of it, making flying missed-tackles all the way down the field.

Even the Mosinee fans joined in and at the end of the clip one can be heard chiding the players for missing their tackles.

Go Gabe!!

Special Needs, Special Love

Several years ago my friend Mary Silverberg got the idea to write a book featuring 10 women living with a child, children, or grandchildren with special needs that could be used to encourage others as they navigate the course of life with a child with special needs. I was asked to be one of the contributors and thoroughly enjoyed the months long project of reliving Gabe's story through words.

Mary wasn't able to find a publisher for the book, but she still wanted to make the stories available to others. She finally decided on using a blog format and highlighting the individual writers one at a time, spacing out the chapters of their part of the book.

I have enjoyed reading through the first two journeys and entering into the different aspects of the trials these women faced. This week, it was Gabe's turn to have his story told. There are 10 parts in all, and they've all been posted to the blog. If you want to read some indepth insights to our first few years with Gabe, as well as be blessed by the stories of the other women I invite you to log into Special Needs, Special Love at http://specialneedsspeciallove.com/

Wishful Thinking

Breakfast is light this morning as we're planning a big lunch out. Gabe resigned himself to sitting down with a bowl of cereal, but his prayer was,

Heavenly Father, thank you for the eggs and sausage. Amen

Gabe update

I know I just posted a video of Gabe playing basketball, and it tells a wonderful story about where he's at, but it's been a LONG time since I posted a real update on how our boy is doing.

We are thrilled that Gabe's health has been improving over the past 2 years. He still tends to catch viruses easier than most and is a bit sicker than most, but he's stayed out of the hospital. In fact, we haven't had to visit a doctor for anything other than an annual check-up in the past 2 years. The last virus Gabe caught was in late December when he got a stomach/vomiting bug. He was only sick 5 or 6 times. The last three times (going back several years) that Gabe had the stomach bug he threw up every half hour for at least 12 hours. It was actually a great encouragement to see him kick it so much quicker this time.

Gross motor skills still tend to be his strong suit (check out the video!). He can run, jump, climb, skip, dribble, and hop right along with the other kids his age. In many of these areas he exceeds the expected level of a 7-year-old.

Just today, the leader of our homeschool sports club was telling me how amazed they are at the change in Gabe's communication skills from last year to now. Not only can the coaches understand what he's saying, but the kids can too. Gabe has always loved to talk, he's just been difficult to understand. He has work to do. He struggles with the sounds that are made with the tongue in the back of the mouth--j, ch, and r.

Not only is his functional speech improving, but the content of his communication is advancing. He has always had a hard time communicating about a past event (even if it happened today). He seems to have a hard time absorbing a past-tense question, "What happened? What did you do? Where did you go? Who did you see?", as an understandable concept. Last night at supper I asked him to tell Daddy where he went during the day. After rephrasing it as, "Who did you see?" he blurted out, "I go to the Fosters, play with Alex, watch baby animals."

Gabe's greatest challenge has come in the area of fine motor skills. His fingers lack dexterity and their clumsiness frustrates him. We are working on self-dressing. We've been working on it for three years. We take itty bitty baby steps. We began with me laying the shirt or pants in front of him and then holding his hands and assisting him putting them on. I keep trying to draw back my involvement and today, for the first time, Gabe went to his drawer, found a pair of pants, and put them on with no physical intervention! (Yes, I gave some verbal instructions.) It was the first time his, "I did it all by myself!" was completely true.

Gabe is still homeschooled. He is learning to read. He knows all of his letters and sounds, has an arsenal of about 100 sight words and is able to phonetically sound out all first level words. He can count to 30 and with a little help get to 100. He's working on counting by 2s and 5s and finding a number on a number line. I just never thought about the fact that comprehending that 23 comes after 15 and before 40 might have to be learned and not just 'figured out'. It has been a fun challenge to find the games and methods that help him catch on to things like that. It makes me appreciate how complex our brains really are!

As we all know, who we are involves considerably more than how your muscles work and what you're doing in school. Gabe has a great imagination, sense of comedy, strong perseverance, and is very empathetic. He loves to go places but always wants to get back home. He loves loves loves his nieces and nephews. He's learned to be shy when he feels under pressure in the spotlight and he'll fidget with his glasses. He knows when he wants to be a ham on stage and when he absolutely does not! He knows how to push the buttons of older siblings or caregivers as he tests them to see how much he can get away with.

I used to call Gabe a tornado on legs. He's definitely calmed down and I'm finally not on high alert at all times. I'll still have to watch the doors in the summer, but every season, every year brings constant change and advancement. It's strange to remember that there was a time he wasn't a part of our lives. I almost can't comprehend what that was like. But, I'm enjoying the growing up changes and I'm still enjoying how slowly he takes it. Well, most of it, I will be very happy to see him independently taking care of all his personal needs! Like everything else, it'll come with time.

Basketball Season

Shane is playing in his first season as a Beaver for Bemidji State and Owen and Lisa are bringing home ribbons from their own traveling team tournaments. Gabe is an attentive spectator who's preparing for his own day "on court".

A Different Kind of Grocery Store Kid

Yesterday, I took Gabe to a small, local grocery store that he had never been in. He loves to be a helper and called out, "Come on Mom!" and "Let's get started!" as we entered the store. He was excitedly moving me through the aisles, putting my items in the cart, and pointing out things we had to get. It was all pretty cute.

We went through the produce section and picked the things we needed and I headed up another aisle while he lingered. He hollered after me,

"Mom, can we get some broccoli?!"

I replied,

"No Gabe, we already have broccoli at home."

He gave an unhappy grunt, "Uhhh", and then ran to join me, delighted to find something else to put in the cart.

A stunned shopped looked at him with her jaw open and asked, "How do you get him to do that?"

I wasn't sure if she meant 'ask for broccoli' or 'take no for an answer'. Either way, it is refreshing for people to be able to see Gabe act in a non-typical way that is positive and shows what a joy a child with Down syndrome can be!

Gabe's School Journey

Gabe had the most wonderful 4-K teacher last year. Putting my boy in school, even for just 2 days a week, was a tough thing for this Mama to do. But, I thought it might be good for Gabe to have some time with a group of children and receive the attention of various specialists that the school district had to offer. I know everything's a little different for Gabe and I didn't want to assume that education for him would be the same as the others./////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Meeting Mrs. Votis is what made up my mind. She was enthusiastic, caring, energetic, and she loved Gabe! Gabe took to school pretty well. He loved riding the bus, he loved being with all the kids, he adored Mrs. Votis, and I enjoyed a respite from his high octane energy level! He didn't really seem to gain much ground academically, but I don't think that's unusual for a preschool class. He had more practice writing and cutting than what we'd done at home and it was helpful to have to follow rules in a group and not always be the only little guy be told what to do!/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// I wasn't sure what to do when it came to Kindergarten, but when I learned that Mrs. Votis was moving up, too, I signed up for another year. I literally had to "sign up", since the school I had Gabe in was not our assigned school (even though it's half the distance from our home). I chose to have Gabe attend just 3 days a week and he was in his third week when we received a call from the principal. She informed me that Gabe's class had one too many children in it and since we were technically assigned to another school he would have to go. I like to say that, "Gabe got kicked out of Kindergarten."/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We could have moved to the other school, but I didn't want the added distance (I drove him to school since there was no way I was going to put him on the bus for an hour), and I wasn't sure that being in school was really the best for him. So, he came home. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// It was a difficult transition for Gabe and when I finally told him (after several weeks) that school was "all done" he cried. However, when he would ask if he could go to school I would say, "No, but we can do schoolwork." He's now switched over to asking me, "Can we do schoolwork?" When I say yes he claps and exclaims, "I love that!"///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The bottom line is, this is better for Gabe. He is doing better academically--he's learning to read and is progressing on number concepts and beginning addition. He is better rested and acts happier. School made Gabe tired and grumpy more often. He is just more content. His Mama is now the one who gets tired and grumpy more often!

We very much miss Mrs. Votis (who teared up as she said good-bye to my boy) and I may consider offering to volunteer in her classroom one afternoon a week so that Gabe can have some interaction with his friends. In the meantime, we try to get out to the Y, the library, and the Children's Museum more often; and Gabe's favorite day of the week is homeschool Sports Club day when he gets to spend 4 hours with 75 other homeschooled kids!/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (My apologies for the lack of paragraphs. I finally got the blog post to work on my computer, but I can't solve the paragraph mystery. I type them in, but they don't show up. I've tried to create the separation with the hash marks.)

Gabe's "New Math"

Gabe loves to play guessing games when we ride in the car. He typically calls out, "Mama, animal!" and I have to guess what animal he's thinking of.

Tonight he called to me, "Mama, number!" I guessed a few and got it right when I said, "Two".

I heard Gabe say, "I have one and then one more."

I thought I'd take advantage of his interest in "one more" and try some addition with him so I asked him, "What is one more that two?"

He didn't answer so I followed up with, "If you hold up two finger and then hold up one more what do you have?"

He joyfully called out, "--W--!"

(OK, just in case you don't get it, hold up three fingers and you'll see that it looks like the letter W.)

Gabe update

(I don't know how this looks to you, but it isn't showing any paragraph breaks on my screen--I put them in, so I'm sorry if this looks like one big paragraph!) I have tried to post a few different things in the past weeks, but I can't get onto the "post" page on my home computer. I have a few minutes at the library and want to give an update on Gabe. About 8 weeks ago Gabe had surgery to remove his adenoids. He's been struggling with sleep apnea and breathing problems at night and this was the next step in trying to correct the problem. Gabe and I drove down to Madison on Thursday night for, what I presumed was, a Friday morning surgery. The surgical department was supposed to call me on Thursday to give me the time. I gave them my cell number and told them to only call that phone as I would have to leave fairly early in the afternoon to go to a baseball game along the way and then get checked into the Ronald McDonald House. I had a lot of coordinating to do. Shane had the baseball game and was driving to Madison with me, but then had to get down to Milwaukee for a basketball tournament. Troy was to meet us in Madison (with a car we'd let him take to load up end-of-the year college stuff) and get Shane to Milwaukee. I didn't get a surgery call all day (turns out we had 4 messages on the home phone), called the hospital twice, and finally got a call back from the surgeon's night staff telling me we had a 4 pm surgery. No matter what time of day the surgery is scheduled, the patient can't eat any solid foods after midnight. That was going to be tricky. Gabe doesn't do well with hunger. When he hits his hunger wall he loses it. I don't know if hunger affects him differently than most kids or if he just doesn't know how to deal with it. He can go quite awhile without eating but then comes that wall, and often without warning. I was afraid of a day of fasting. I kept Gabe up until almost midnight and got him to eat at least 2 meals worth of food between 10:15 and 11:00. Thankfully, the Ronald McDonald kitchen was well-stocked and I let him eat anything and everything he wanted. Unfortunately, the late night did not produce a late morning and at 7:00 we headed to game room to play. I kept distracting him when he'd ask for food and we made it to 9:30 without a hitch. We then headed to what turned out to be our 'salvation'--the zoo! Gabe was so enamored with the zoo and the animals and the flowers and the merry-go-round and the train that he never once asked for food. I experienced another "Gabe is growing up" moment at the zoo. He was playing in a playground area and I couldn't see him in the treehouse slide. I walked around the back side to get a better look (later figuring out this was when he slipped out the gate back into the zoo). I watched awhile and then asked a girl to climb up into the top and look for him. No Gabe. I figure he'd been missing for about 10 minutes and had no idea how to find him. I headed for the ticket booth of the merry-go-round and was directed to the ride operator to report a lost child. As I walked around the operator station Gabe came running through the gate and almost ran into me. He had gone to the merry-go-round, gotten on (we got all day wrist band passes), and taken a ride! I told him that it was OK to go anywhere he wanted, that this was his day of fun, but I didn't want to lose him and he had to tell me when he wanted to leave. For the rest of the day he never left an animal, exhibit or area without first coming and holding my hand!!! When we got into the car to head to the hospital he fell fast asleep and didn't wake up until I changed him into his gown just before heading into surgery. (The downside of that was that I had to carry him AND all of our bags down the street and to the surgery area.) Surgery went well and Gabe was alert and READY for food by 7:00. The night was rather uneventful (except that Gabe did not want to sleep there so I didn't sleep much either) and we were given preliminary discharge at 7:30 am! We were gone by 9:30 and headed...back to the zoo. As far as Gabe was concerned we'd taken a weekend trip to the zoo with an inconvenient 18 hour stop at the hospital! The first 3 weeks after surgery were terrible. Gabe felt fine and had no recovery issues at all, but the swelling kept him snoring and/or not breathing (and therefore from sleeping) no matter what position he was in. We all had a rough 3 weeks with very little sleep and a lot of trying to figure out how to help him. The swelling decreased enough after 3 weeks that he could sleep well if he was on his stomach or side and for the last week he hasn't gotten up in the middle of the night at all. We were told we won't know the full story on how his breathing is affected until June or July, but there seems to be a definite improvement at this point. I guess this past year has been make-up for him sleeping through the night his entire infancy. Gabe hit another medical milestone this week that has nothing to do with sleep. He made it through a dental teeth cleaning! I never would have guessed that having a child with Downs would have meant having difficulty at the dentist. But, I've read the reports from others and have seen Gabe refuse to open his mouth for the hygenist. The first time Gabe went to the dentist he just sat in the chair, got a ride up and down, and opened his mouth long enough to let them peek in. That was it. Last year we got a step further and Gabe allowed them to put the little mirror in his mouth and count his teeth. I had visions of having to sedate him just for a cleaning. I took him in this week and gave them the routine that we use to brush his teeth--tell him to open and then count to ten while I brush. At 'ten' he gets to stop, swallow, and open his mouth when he's ready to continue. This helps him feel like he has control of what's happening and he knows there is an end. Well, it worked! We got all 21 teeth cleaned. I think we had to count to ten about ten times but he didn't resist or try to get down. There was one incident that cracked up the hygenist so much it took her awhile to regain composure to go on. Gabe was only managing to count to five on the upper teeth (greater sensitivy on the upper palate). That happens, too, when we brush and I just continue with 6, 7, 8... when he's ready. Instead, Deb said, "We'll start over," and again only got to five. Gabe closed his mouth, looked up at her and said, "Six, seven, eight, nine, ten!"

My National Downs Syndrome Day Experiences

I'm a few days late, but since most of you have never heard of National Downs Syndrome Day I didn't think it mattered. (I guess I'm not really up on it either, it's called World Down Syndrome Day--oops.) The date was March 21, or 3-21, which is a numerical likeness of the scientific name for ds, Trisomy 21. It literally means a triplicate of the 21st chromosome. We normally receive one of each of 23 chromosomes from each parent, giving us 23 pairs, or 46 chromosomes. Someone with a trisomy has an extra chromosome. The most common trisomy is is T-21, or Downs Syndrome. It is the most common because it is the most "survivable". The 21st chromosome is the shortest, containing the least amount of genetic information. Having an extra chromosome inevitably messes up the genetic balance in a system and the more genetic material on that chromosome the greater the damage. Therefore, having a triplicate of any other chromosome results in a much higher incidence of biological disturbances which more often leads to pre-born death in the form of miscarriage or still birth.

I hadn't intended to give a science lesson, but I guess I just did. Perhaps because some of my own children weren't aware of some of these basic facts that have so directly impacted our own family. What I really set out to do was share a few recent stories on the blessings and trials we receive from others as the world relates to Gabe.

First, the trial. Last Saturday we were out playing at the park with our grandson on his birthday. The older boys and Keith were playing on the outdoor basketball court while I watched Gabe, Vince, and Lisa at the playground. A young boy (about 7 or 8) was playing with the kids and asked Lisa if "that boy" (Gabe) was her brother. She told him that he was and the boy nonchalantly claimed, "He goes to my school and I always laugh at him." Lisa was caught off guard and responded with, "What?" The boy, again, very matter-of-factly told her that "all the kids in my class laugh and make fun of him". Lisa was stunned and asked him, "But why would you do that?" His response was, "Because he looks stupid."

I guess I knew this was coming and that Gabe would be the target of teasing at some point. I just didn't quite expect it yet. Lisa was so very sad about it. She couldn't understand why anyone would want to tease or make fun of Gabe. She told me, "I don't get it, Gabe looks just like anyone else." I love how her heart sees.

I'm not upset with the little boy, I don't claim that his parent must have taught him to tease others, I don't think he's part of an evil pact of children out to bully and make life difficult for those who are different than the norm. He's just a typical kid working out the way he sees life in a typical kid fashion. He could have been my kid. Kids have their own ways of figuring out life and coming to conclusions about good/bad, right/wrong, normal/abnormal, acceptable/unacceptable, and even stupid/smart. Some of them do better at it than others. Of course, some of them are influenced by parents or friends, but I'm just not jumping to conclusions about this particular boy.

My response to this situation was to talk to the staff at Gabe's school about the incident. I spoke with his teachers and aides who directed me to the school guidance counselor. I made it clear that I did not want this little boy "punished". Instead, I gave them some ideas on how to help educate students to be more understanding and compassionate towards kids with disabilities--something that, ironically, was next on the school agenda for the guidance counselor. (And, no, I don't believe this was just an ironic coincidence.)

As logical and unfeeling as I tried to be in the whole thing, my heart broke a little bit for my son. Maybe it broke a little more for me and for Lisa because, at this point, Gabe doesn't feel bad about it at all. I just know that at some point he will, and I just hate that for him.

Now, the blessing. Two days ago, on 3-21, I was at another park in town pushing a swing next to a young mom who asked if I was Gabe's mom. When I told her I was she said that her daughter, Ava, was Gabe's reading buddy. I knew that Gabe's class was paired up with first grade reading buddies and that his was a girl named Ava but I didn't know any more. Ava's mom went on to tell a beautiful story.

Ava was actually assigned to 2 students as a reading buddy and she read to both Gabe and her own little brother together. Gabe's class was split into two smaller groups a few months ago and the teacher approached Ava and told her she was going to have to just pick one of the boys for whom to be a reading buddy.

Here is Ava's response as told to me by Ava's mom:

Mrs. V____, I know that I should probably stay with my brother, because he's my brother, and I really don't want to hurt his feelings but I want to stay with Gabe. You see, I have a cousin Luke who has Down syndrome and I know how he needs a little more special attention and patience. So, I know how to be more patient with Gabe than most of the other kids and I really want him to have a reading buddy who will be patient with him.

Ava had her teacher in tears and when the teacher told her mom she had her in tears and I find myself welling up with tears as I pass the story on again.

Little Ava is only 6, but she reminded me that Gabe will not only have ridicule and teasing to look forward to as he grows, but he will have understanding, compassionate, patient people like Ava to soften some of the blows.

God put me in the paths of two very different Gabe experiences to make this National Downs Syndrome Day a very educational, poignant, and memorable one for me.

A Long, Long-Overdue Gabe Update

HE

IS

SIX

TODAY!



Here's a look at his year and some significant updates.

Gabe's 6th year started with significant sorrow.

Just one day after his last birthday, Joey and Jamie lost their daughter Kaylee Hope.

A month later we spent a week with Carson and Keira so that Joey and Jamie could get away together. Gabe didn't comprehend the reason behind the visit, he was just excited about being Uncle Gabe for a week--with lots of hugs.

Maybe a few too many hugs for Carson




We've been working on writing, or I should say I've been working on getting Gabe to to some writing. He isn't so keen on it, he's definitely a gross motor skills guy, none of this finger coordination stuff. I thought he might enjoy the chalkboard more than pencil and paper. I was right! Sort of.


Waiting to be discharged after a hospital stay in May.
Gabe woke up with wheezing and a croupy cough that I couldn't get under control. Two doctors diagnosed him with asthma but I was sure they were wrong. I know we always need to question our doctors to make sure we get the best care for our children but that is even more true with children with special needs. I had noticed changes in Gabe's breathing, especially when he was sleeping and was pretty sure that the adenoids that we removed years ago were coming back. I consulted with our pediatrician and headed back to Madison to see a pediatric ENT. What has followed is a scope (adenoids blocking 50%) a sleep study (definite apnea), and medication to reduce inflammation (improved breathing but still apnea). I will have a phone consultation next week and our likely response now will be an adenoidectomy.


Summer time at the lake




We took a family roadtrip/vacation up through Canada, to Washington and the Olympic Peninsula, through Idaho and Montana and home. Making the ride fun is part of the planning with little ones in the van.

Canadian Rockies to me...

...a park and a swimming hole to Gabe

Puget Sound ferry



The US's only temperate rain forest is on the Olympic Peninsula


The northwest Pacific coast offers some of the best rock-throwing opportunities for little throwers. Gabe threw non-stop rocks for almost six hours, sometimes windmill style using both hands alternately. We counted how many he was throwing per minute and came up with a very conservative estimate of 11,000 rocks thrown for the day.



Sandpoint, ID--we stayed with Keith's boss from his first college co-op engineering job. Roger is a kind, generous, and remarkable host. He took everyone up for a ride in his plane (except Gabe who was just happy to get to sit in the plane).

Roger has built this little fantasy-land on his property. The deluxe treehouse in the back is outfitted with electricity and a queen-size bed. Our older children took turns sleeping in the tree. Maybe next time I'll be so adventurous.

We loved his signs


Montana and Glacier National Park





We hadn't planned to spend five days in Havre, MT but hitting a buck just before the weekend changed our plans. It didn't bother Gabe a bit!




Gabe always enjoys our week of family camp in August. We're outside all day, he gets to swim, play ball, and be with other kids all week.
Gabe with his cousin Lauren (4)

Not so sure she wants to share the ball





With the end of summer came an overnight trip for Gabe, Lisa, and me to take Troy to college.



We got him moved in and then drove up to LaCrosse to spend the night before the first game of Chet's MTU football season. We made the drive part of the enjoyment of the trip taking the river road and looking for birds, racing a train (parallel to it, under 45 mph), learning about locks and dams, and stopping when we saw a big park.

This one even had a "real" slide--over 5' high made of metal!

LaCrosse has a fantastic Chilren's Museum. We have a family pass to our local CM that let's us into any participating CM in the country. Gabe loved the morning we spent here.




Meeting Clifford was a lifetime highlight for Gabe. When we heard the announcement over the loudspeaker that Clifford was making an appearance on the first floor I couldn't run fast enough to keep up with Gabe down the stairs. There was a large group of children circled around the Big Red Dog but they were all afraid to approach him. Gabe was not only not afraid to approach him, he wasn't afraid to barge through the middle of the pack, yell "Hi Clifford!" and give him a big hug!

It absolutely made Gabe's day and opened the door for the rest of the kids to approach Clifford.

Probably THE biggest change in Gabe's (and my) life--he started school. This was a difficult decision for me to make. I have a system, guided by conviction and habit. I start teaching my children when they're born and they stay home and learn with me until they're at least 14, then we re-evaluate and go on. So, why was I even considering something different? Because Gabe is different, and I wanted to make sure I was making the decision that was best for him. So, we tried it. Just two days a week with the option to pull him at any time. For a few months I kept things going just because I was benefiting from have two days to teach and do home things without Gabe here. But that's not a good reason to send him to school. I was VERY happy with the people who were caring for him, I loved his teacher, his aides, and his bus driver. Even if he wasn't learning I was comfortable knowing he was safe and well cared for. But, in the last months I've seen the benefits to him. He enjoys the environment and does well in the small group settings. He's definitely improving in many learning areas with the people at school supporting the work we do at home. And it's really nice to not be doing all of it on my own. Gabe needs a lot more interaction and one-on-one to thrive academically and that takes time. He also gets bored with just me, so he learns better when there are more people taking turns with the teaching.

Here's a blurry first day picture

Gabe's 4-K school picture. He has a composite of 29 kids from the 2 classes at his school. He can name about half of the kids on his own and the other half with me providing the first letter of their name.

Gabe's greatest thrill was getting to ride the bus! It took about a month to get all of the paperwork in and sorted to get him on the bus (wouldn't you think that could have been handled during the 10 weeks of summer?--I still have public institution complaints). During those weeks he would beg to get on a bus after school. He cried inconsolably the first day that he was denied that privilege.


With fall comes football. This would be our last of seven years driving up to watch the Huskies.




One of the best things about these games have been the times for family camaraderie. After one particularly warm-weather game we found a great spot on Lake Superior for a picnic.


Grandma trying to get a little bit of the sand off, an exercise in futility.



Gabe not only loves hugging his nieces and nephews, but he rather enjoys getting in trouble with them! Gabe loved having Karissa (and Ellen) with us for the weeks while the guys were in India. There was lots of time for trouble!


Crawling into Karissa's crib when she's supposed to be napping!


Karissa's not the only one who got woken up. Carson and Keira got an early Gabe wake-up call. A baby video kept the cranky babies entertained while the moms scrambled to prepare for a long day.


A neighborhood walk with Lisa, Ellen, and Karissa


Two more nieces! Gabe could not love the babies any more than he does. He just delights in them.



Gabe entered into the Christmas celebrations this year. He hung all of his own ornaments and delighted in pointing them all out to Daddy.

He also had a part in the Children's Christmas pageant at church. He played the part of a sheep and did a great job learning his part, sitting where he was supposed to sit, crawling where he was supposed to crawl, and singing the group songs at the end. He did add a few adlib parts to liven things up--sheep ARE supposed to say "baa" right? Gabe didn't understand why that wasn't a significant part of his role, so he added it. Also, if people bring gifts to the baby, and the baby doesn't open them, shouldn't someone else to it for him? Gabe thought he should be that someone.


Finally, Gabe had his three year check up with the cardiologist for a full exam including EKG and echo. Everything from his repair three years ago was holding fast and working just how it should. I was hoping we'd be done and that all things heart related. However, there's just one little thing... It seems like there's always one more thing. Gabe has one slightly leaky valve. It may be nothing, it may need some attention. I'm not worried about it, though. She said we would look at again in ten years. I don't worry about things that are ten days away much less ten years!

Thank you Gabe, for another eventful and wonderful year. You are my love!!