SAL-VA-TION: by grace

E-LEV-EN: children from 1984 to 2006

HOME-SCHOOL-ING: since 1990

DOWN-SYN-DROME: susie and gabe

GRAND-CHILD-REN: since 2010

FAITH-FUL-NESS: my steadfast rock, my biggest supporter, my leader, my friend, my love, my husband

Monday, November 9, 2009

Who's to Blame?

I grew up in a relatively liberal church and now attend a relatively conservative church. I say "relatively" because it IS all relative. My high school friends in the "Jesus People" movement thought my church then was conservative. And I have friends who think my church now is liberal. That's moderately beside the point.

Here's the thought. I've seen a lot of young people caught up in "following the crowd", partying, "living it up", "doing what feels good", or just otherwise embracing an immoral lifestyle. And at some point I've heard them point the finger and lay the blame on: their parents, their church, or their general upbringing.

And these are some things I've heard:
From the ones raised in the more "liberal" lifestyle.
"I wasn't given enough direction."
"I didn't experience tough love."
"No one taught me better."
"I never heard warnings to avoid sin."
"I was taught that 'Jesus love you', that God hates the sin but loves the sinner, so sin was no big deal."
"It's 'their' fault"

From the ones raised in the more "conservative" lifestyle.
"My parents were too strict and caused me to rebel."
"Hearing about sin just made me judgmental."
"If I hadn't been so sheltered I wouldn't have been so curious."
"It's their fault."

I've seen immorality lived out by people raised both ways--the 'liberal' girl with an unplanned pregnancy, the 'conservative' girl with multiple sexual partners, the 'liberal' boy getting drunk, the 'conservative' boy getting drunk, etc. I've also heard them all blame someone else for their behavior.

Wouldn't it be refreshing to hear someone simply say,
"My heart was inclined to wickedness and I chose to follow it."
"I'm not stupid, I know the difference between right and wrong and good and bad, and I made my choice."

We may be influenced by our environment, but we are not controlled by it. The choice to embrace sin is entirely our own. The choice to lay the blame on someone else is as old as time, and if we choose to lay the blame for our behavior on someone else we are just as deceived as Adam who blamed Eve for his disobedience.

So, do what you do, and own what you do; or recognize what you did, and own what you did--laying blame on no one but yourself.


kristi noser said...

My son is slowly learning not to be a blamer and to take responsibility for his own choices and the consequences that follow. It has been a tough struggle, as he is inclined (as are we all) to blame someone else. It is so much easier if you can do that, right? Not my problem.
Oh I just blogged in your comment section. Forgive me, but if Blogger didn't have such a large area to fill up....

Keithslady said...

If there's such a thing a blogger-comment-length etiquette I haven't seen it, but I'm sure I've violated it. As for my blog, write all you want, type pages, I don't care, my space is your space.

No matter how we raise them, helping them learn to see inwardly rather than outwardly will go a LONG way!

Joey said...

I couldn't agree more with this post.

Marcia Wilwerding said...

Three hearty Amens, sister. Owning our own sin is the very beginning of true repentance. Don't you think?

Kari Mitchell said...

I made all of my mistakes because you told me I wasn't a real person. It's all your fault.

(I'm sure you can read the sarcasm.) :)

Keithslady said...

Yes, Kari, loud and clear! I take full responsibility for destroying all of your self confidence before the age of five. Love you!!!

April said...

Thanks Cindy.